


Stay

by OfTheAshTree62, Reijin_Hakumei



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Best Friends, Developing Relationship, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Frottage, M/M, Oral Sex, Post-Fullbringer Arc, Seireitei, Shinigami/Zanpakutou Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:01:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 24,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28194378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfTheAshTree62/pseuds/OfTheAshTree62, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reijin_Hakumei/pseuds/Reijin_Hakumei
Summary: “Here.”An annoyed emerald eye stared him down with no small amount of contempt before focusing on the slip of paper that was being held out to him. He turned to face him more fully, hands shoved deep into the large pockets of his double breasted, long coat. “What is it?”Teal eyes narrowed and he smirked as the one visible emerald eye widened slightly, though the other didn’t back down, quickly recovering his confidence. Toshiro sighed, “Just take it.”At the softening of expression, Yukio relaxed slightly, and though he still looked far from trusting, he removed one gloved hand from his pocket and accepted the slip of paper. Turning it over, he found numbers. “This looks like a phone number,” he said softly, in contemplation and confusion.“It’s for this,” Toshiro said, holding up his communicator from Soul Society that looked remarkably like a phone. “I can’t actually receive a call from Soul Society, but messages work just fine. I know I said I didn’t care about your past. And I don’t - in that I don’t judge you at all because of it. But it seemed like you needed to talk about it...
Relationships: Hitsugaya Toushirou/Yukio Hans Vorarlberna
Comments: 12
Kudos: 18
Collections: YukiShiro Ship Week and Archive





	1. My December

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Geishaaa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geishaaa/gifts).



**__ **

**_Chapter 1:[My December](https://youtu.be/-RFXKse5dnw?t=10)_ **

“Here.”

An annoyed emerald eye stared him down with no small amount of contempt before focusing on the slip of paper that was being held out to him. He turned to face him more fully, hands shoved deep into the large pockets of his double breasted, long coat. “What is it?”

Teal eyes narrowed and he smirked as the one visible emerald eye widened slightly, though the other didn’t back down, quickly recovering his confidence. Toshiro sighed, “Just take it.”

At the softening of expression, Yukio relaxed slightly, and though he still looked far from trusting, he removed one gloved hand from his pocket and accepted the slip of paper. Turning it over, he found numbers. “This looks like a phone number,” he said softly, in contemplation and confusion.

“It’s for this,” Toshiro said, holding up his communicator from Soul Society that looked remarkably like a phone. “I can’t actually receive a call from Soul Society, but messages work just fine. I know I said I didn’t care about your past. And I don’t - in that I don’t judge you at all because of it. But it seemed like you needed to talk about it. So use that number. Or don’t. The decision is yours. There’s a lot of potential in you, though, and I hate to see that go to waste. It’s the people that have experienced the most pain that are also able to heal that in others. Don’t lose that, Yukio.”

Whether he was talking about Yukio’s past pain, supposed potential, abilities, or the slip of paper, Yukio didn’t know. But it felt like all four. He silently pocketed the paper, turning around and continuing on his way. When he glanced back, the perplexing shinigami was gone, and Yukio clenched the note just a little tighter within his hand.

* * *

Yukio had used the number. Several weeks later - but he’d used it. At first it was to complain about something an employee did that got under his skin so much he just _had_ to vent to _someone_ that understood what it was like to have people work under them. And he had never lost that note, saving it within his PSP. The text had been so out of the blue and so relatable, Toshiro had actually laughed when he read it, and promptly had to prevent Rangiku from trying to rip his communicator out of his hands. When he actually found a moment of peace to himself, he messaged back.

And so their friendship began. 

Yukio was removed from everything in Soul Society - completely cut off and disconnected - and that made him rather ideal to vent to. Toshiro had never really had a friend like that, someone that actually understood him and the burden he carried, someone that was also in a high position of responsibility that everyone treated like a child. Well, Rangiku knew better, and Yukio said Riruka was tolerable as an assistant when she wasn’t gushing about the latest plushie she had purchased. Honestly, their lives were a bit too relatable at times. 

And Toshiro had been right. Yukio _needed_ someone to talk to. It took a long time, but he actually did open up to him about his past and how he felt about it, how ashamed and hurt by it he was. He wasn’t sorry about what he’d done - more frustrated that he _cared_ for his parents _at all_ after what _they’d_ done to _him._ His life had vastly improved since then but he would give everything up if it meant that he actually had a loving family to come home to. 

Toshiro understood that feeling far too well.

His own family was rather fractured. He had an elder sister, but they were estranged, and as much as he still loved her, he couldn’t _trust_ her anymore. If he ever had. He rarely ever saw his grandmother, and when he did it was with a heavy heart, knowing that he had nearly killed her without even realizing he was doing so. She was so frail and his reiatsu so strong, if he lost control for even a moment in her presence… Well, better to keep his distance. He was buried in work anyway. 

Rangiku was as close to family as he had now but she was also his direct subordinate and he just didn’t feel comfortable with her seeing him vulnerable at all. As the Captain of the division - even though he hadn't originally wanted the position, only taking it because this was his _home_ and he cared about it too much to not accept the promotion as the only member with a serviceable bankai after their original Captain had gone MIA - he had to always be in control, be reasonable. He had to _lead_ them, by example. As the youngest Captain of all the divisions, he constantly felt pressured to always be perfect, to prove that his position wasn’t some fluke or mistake. He’d been captain for over twenty years now and he still felt that way, even though he knew the other captains respected him. 

But Yukio was none of those things. He wasn't a direct subordinate, and Toshiro didn’t have any painful regrets concerning him; they had parted peacefully and were only enemies for a brief moment due to circumstances neither could really control. Yukio had never actually harmed him, and he’d made sure he hadn’t harmed the young man either - it was so easy to see he was merely misguided. And Toshiro really did hate seeing potential go to waste - it was his duty to see and foster such things after being Captain for so long. He never regretted reaching out to him, offering his support. 

Over time, Toshiro had continued to slowly age, finally gaining a little bit of height although he was far from what he knew he would eventually grow to be, thanks to his mature bankai forcing him to take that age. Toshiro was amused to learn that, over the nearly ten years he had been messaging back and forth with Yukio, the human hadn’t really grown at all. He tried to imagine that if he saw him again, _he’d_ actually be the taller of the two. For some reason Toshiro found that rather endearing and actually looked forward to it, though he hadn’t been sent to the human world since the last time he’d seen him. Eventually though, he would be sent, and he promised he’d drop in to see him.

During that time, Yukio had flourished, became a well-known entrepreneur and philanthropist - he really did help people. And in return, even though he hadn’t expected anything at all, Yukio’s correspondence and friendship had filled a hole he hadn’t _really_ acknowledged was there.

But then he left a far larger one… 

When he lost him. 

He had thought it odd, the first day he didn’t receive a message. After so many years, Yukio’s messages had steadily become more frequent until he literally didn’t go a single day without receiving one and sending one back. No matter how busy Yukio got, he never forgot about him. Toshiro sensed that was because he too didn’t have anyone else he really felt like he could talk to. He had never taken a significant other - Toshiro had no idea what he even wanted in a potential partner. Yukio never discussed or expressed any desire to have one. He remembered Riruka getting married, but when Yukio mentioned it, he had only seemed happy for her. He hadn’t sounded the way lonely, single people do when their close friends get married… wistful. Rather, he was just, honestly happy. 

Then a day became a week and he knew something was wrong. It was actually a major production for a Captain-class shinigami to visit the human world, their reiatsu needing to be sealed and that was only done if necessary. So he couldn’t check on his best friend himself. Instead, he requested a member of his squad about to be sent to the human world on assignment to bring back any recent news on Yukio Hans Vorarlberna. As a relatively public figure now, he doubted that would be difficult to do.

It hadn’t been difficult. His subordinate said that it had actually been very easy to find the information. And he had only needed to wait three days for him to return. Another three days without a single message from Yukio.

But that had turned out to be reasonable - after all, you couldn’t receive a message from someone that was dead.

Toshiro had never really felt the _real_ impact of death before. He’d come very close to losing people - many times - but he hadn’t _actually_ lost them. Even Shiba-taicho had merely been missing and he'd seen him again, twenty years later. But the _almost_ losing them had been enough for him to distance himself. 

When he received the news that Yukio had died, though, he was grateful that he’d been alone in the office. He read it off the report, in the stark harshness of black ink on white paper. He didn’t even remember leaving, or shunpo-ing home, or collapsing on the floor in his room. He felt waves of numbness followed by grief so severe he couldn’t stop himself from crying, teal eyes reading the words on the page still clutched in his hand as if hoping they would somehow be different than the last time he’d read them. 

He’d managed to collect himself long enough to send a message to Rangiku that he was taking a few personal days. She was curious, of course, but she would never actually bother him in his home. It was the one boundary she actually respected, this place being the one sanctuary where he was never disturbed. 

When he finally felt alright enough to pretend everything was fine, there was a heavy layer of snow upon his house and the trees surrounding. It wasn’t natural though, the rest of the Seireitei nearing the end of spring, flowers fully in bloom and the weather lovely. No, this was caused by him losing control of his own reiatsu - the entire reason he had a house away from the rest of his division in the first place. He hadn’t had an episode in a long time. 

It happened nearly every night since then. 

His own, unending December.

Amazingly no one commented on it. Though, none knew the reason was a loss of control. They probably reasoned he was just becoming stronger. But Toshiro had never felt more weak. He had come to rely on Yukio’s messages, his friendship, in a way he hadn’t realized. Now that there was only silence… Toshiro didn’t know how to get through his days without his dry humor, his insightful remarks, his all-too perceptive advice. He was as cold and distant as always, the change in his emotional state impossible to notice by most, but inside his emotions traded between numbness and impossible, lingering grief.

It was likely Rangiku hadn’t noticed _only_ because she had no idea he had kept a correspondence with Yukio and she was entirely focused on mastering her own bankai. The day she’d finally managed it and shown Toshiro, he really had been happy for her. And when she’d been selected to become Captain of her own division, he’d been happy for her still. Even if it meant he really would be alone in the Tenth without her - he would never hold her back and she’d make a wonderful Captain. He was so proud of her and he wished her well as she transferred to her own division.

He thought the office had been lonely before. 

He realized his thoughts were far too loud, that he’d become accustomed to Rangiku’s constant commentary. And his own thoughts weren’t exactly pleasant. He buried himself in work, and now missing a lieutenant _and_ a third seat, there was plenty to do. But he knew the Sotaicho wouldn’t continue to allow him to work himself into the ground - he’d force a third seat on him eventually.

Apparently ‘eventually’ was today. He hadn’t even looked at the new recruit’s paperwork. He had been informed verbally that he was as brilliant as Toshiro, graduating the academy in just a year. The Sotaicho thought he would fit well with him as a result. For some reason though it felt like he was replacing Rangiku - even though, logically, he knew that wasn’t the case and the position _did_ need to be filled. 

The third chair would perform the duties of a lieutenant until he named an official one - if he ever did. Ukitake-taicho had allowed his own lieutenant position to remain open for several decades until _finally_ naming Rukia. Toshiro thought he would likely do the same, even if doing so was rather sentimental. He couldn’t help it though, feeling that way - he missed Rangiku. He really only saw her now at Captain’s meetings and though that was mostly his own fault, he had no idea how to resolve the distance he himself had placed between them.

He decided he wouldn’t look at the file, that he’d allow his first impression of his new third seat to be actually _meeting_ him. If they were to work so closely together, he needed to know the real him - not what some report said anyway. He could always look at it later. He wanted him to introduce himself in his own words, explain his own strengths and weaknesses - a vital skill for anyone in a leadership position to be able to do. And he would need to lead, as acting lieutenant. 

At a sharp knock at the office door, Toshiro took a calming breath. He glanced at his communicator - his new third seat was perfectly on time. Well, at least that would be a welcome change from Rangiku. “Enter,” Toshiro called, teal eyes observing keenly as the door slid open.

It took every ounce of fortitude in Yukio’s body to actually open the door. His time in the Academy, he felt, had been much too short, and he certainly didn’t feel prepared to face his new Captain so soon, especially knowing that he would be expected to perform at such a high level. It wasn’t that he doubted he could. Honestly what frightened him the most was just _talking_ to the man. He hadn’t made any friends in the Academy, so he had spent much of his time alone, rarely speaking to anyone at all, just flying through the training and courses because he had the ability to do so. But he was beginning to think he should have taken things a bit slower, made an effort to communicate more, because he honestly had no idea what he was going to say when he opened that door. 

But the stern voice on the other side practically demanded it, so he did, whether he was prepared to or not. He kept his eyes down, actually unnerved by the fact that his hair wasn’t covering one eye as it usually did. The instructors at the Academy had insisted that he keep it out of his face, so he had learned to braid the fringe along his hairline, securing it behind his ear. He walked to the center of the office, barely tilting his chin up enough to look at the front of his Captain’s desk. “Good morning, Captain Hitsugaya. I’m Yukio Hans Vorarlberna, your new third-seat officer.” He had no idea what else to say, and he felt terribly guilty that he couldn’t even muster the strength to look up further, but he knew if he tried to speak he would only make a fool of himself. So, he waited in the piercing silence for the questions that were sure to come. At least then he could answer them honestly instead of trying to anticipate what his Captain wanted to know. 

"Yukio…" Toshiro whispered, not believing what his eyes and ears were observing. He wore the standard shinigami shihakusho and had a zanpakuto secured at his slim waist. His hair was the same as he remembered except the long bangs were adorably braided off his face and tucked behind his ear. 

He looked a bit older than he'd last seen him, but then he'd only been sixteen back then. He really hadn't grown at all from what he remembered, just that his features looked more mature. Yukio had been twenty six when he'd died, according to the page of the report he still had in a drawer in his room. That had been just over a year ago now. 

So his spiritual body had passed on to the Soul Society. Toshiro felt like a fool for not searching for him but he reminded himself how vast Soul Society actually was and the impossible task it would have been to find someone when you hadn't a clue where to begin. That, and the person you were searching for likely wouldn't remember you anyway. 

It was very rare to remember anything in detail from your life after death. Sometimes, the souls that lingered for a time, slowing the transition, would keep their memories. But most souls simply moved on, leaving those memories locked away in the mind they left behind. The core of who they were would remain… But it was unlikely that ten years worth of correspondence had survived Yukio’s clearly rapid transition to Soul Society. He didn't even seem to recognize him. Though… He wasn't looking at him either, so that was difficult to accurately gauge. 

"Yukio," Toshiro addressed, "Please close the door and take the seat in front of my desk." His voice was as naturally commanding as it always was but he attempted to gentle his tone, seeing a nervousness within the other he was entirely unfamiliar with. Yukio had been insecure before, Toshiro had noticed immediately - knowing a front when he saw one - but he had always _projected_ confidence. This Yukio seemed almost… timid. 

Yukio did as he was told, walking back to the door to close it before pacing across the room to the chair in front of his Captain’s desk. Only then did he actually meet the man’s eyes. They were a stunning shade of teal, and he actually felt chills run down his arms at just how piercing they were. An odd sense of deja vu washed over him, as if he should somehow recognize them. As much of a novelty as they were, though, he was sure he would remember if he had met Captain Hitsugaya before. Between his eyes and his hair, he would be difficult to mistake. Not only that, he was a _Captain._ He certainly wouldn’t forget meeting him. 

And then he realized why he was likely being stared at so harshly. His deep-seated insecurities were showing, something that had kept him from associating with many since his arrival in the Soul Society. It wasn’t a desirable trait of a seated officer, and Yukio was well aware of that. But, he had a difficult time dismissing his anxiety. 

He didn’t remember much about his life before, but what stood out the most was just how _lonely_ he had been for much of his life. He had gathered bits and pieces, mostly abandonment, hurt, and guilt. What his mind had chosen to reveal to him certainly hadn’t helped him cope with just how crowded and overwhelming the Soul Society was, so he had chosen to sink into the shadows and only show himself when he needed to. When he did decide to join the Academy - hoping he would have at least a minute amount of comfortable solitude as a shinigami - he had performed exceedingly well, but he swore none of his instructors had ever even heard his voice. Just how he had been chosen as a third-seat officer was beyond him. Hopefully his Captain wasn’t keen on small talk.

Probably the most striking thing about Yukio’s altered appearance was that he could see both emerald eyes. And Toshiro realized immediately that he was stunning. He hadn't really thought about it before, but Toshiro rarely thought of such things. He amused himself slightly at the passing thought that he'd been given yet another beautiful blonde as an acting lieutenant but he quickly got a hold of himself. He knew he was likely in a state of shock, just disciplined enough that it would never show. He still couldn't help but stare, thinking he'd never see those gorgeous eyes again. 

He really needed to figure out how this Yukio was different from the one he so clearly remembered. Everything in the way he carried himself and acted was different. _His_ Yukio could definitely handle the duties of a lieutenant but he needed to know if _this_ Yukio was really ready to - and if he wasn't, he needed to determine how best to help him become ready. Because he wasn't going to give up on him or allow him to fail. He'd offered the help he had needed to flourish ten years ago, it was only more natural to him to offer it now. 

"Are you aware, Yukio, that my former lieutenant, Matsumoto-taicho, was recently made a captain herself?" Toshiro asked, keeping his voice as warm as he could, considering he was also dealing with shock and his natural reaction was to become even more cold. He didn't want to be that way towards Yukio - he _desperately_ missed his friend and he never wanted to hurt him. 

“Yes, sir. I read the updated Division profile early this morning, just to be sure that I had all the facts straight,” Yukio replied. At the somewhat proud look in Captain Hitsugaya’s eyes, Yukio allowed a small smile to grace his lips, straightening a bit in the chair and folding his hands loosely in his lap. Obviously his attention to detail was pleasing to his Captain, as it had been to his instructors. It seemed to be an innate habit of his, deeply embedded within him to know _everything_ he could about… well, anything he came across, really. He had spent endless hours in the library at the Academy, and he likely was more educated in seemingly pointless things than any of his peers. 

"Very good, Yukio," Toshiro said with a small smile, happy that he seemed slightly more at ease. And really, he had expected nothing less. "Do you understand what that means for your duties as my third chair?" 

“Of course, sir,” Yukio said, honestly trying to hold back a chuckle. “Being absent of a lieutenant, I will have to pick up the duties of that role. I believe I’m fully capable.” He had no idea why it was so _easy_ to talk to this man. It was honestly beginning to feel rather foolish to come into the encounter with so little confidence. 

He knew he was going to do well, it was just his past, which was hazy at best, crawling to the surface and reminding him just how painful interactions could be. Or, how painful it could be to trust someone or care about them. He didn’t even have any context for feeling that way. Only pain. But he shook that off for now, realizing that his Captain wasn’t reprimanding him, wasn’t looking down on him, really wasn’t doing anything _negative_ at all. In fact, he was _smiling._

Toshiro nodded, "That's correct." He gestured to the desk along the wall to his right, "That's the Tenth Division's lieutenant's desk. You will work there until the time comes that I appoint a lieutenant. I do not expect that to happen any time soon. I do not have any qualified candidates that I would consider. If you do your duties well, I'll likely promote _you_ to that position. 

"I work very closely with my lieutenant - I need to be able to trust them, and to know they trust me and will do as ordered. Your opinions and ideas will always be welcomed by me, but you need to know when to voice them. Outside this room, we need to be seen as a unit, completely supportive of the other. My former lieutenant, I still consider family, and I likely always will. It may take you time to really trust me that deeply, but I have full confidence that we'll work well together. I'm curious, what do you already know about me?" He was a bit curious what rumors there were about him now, but he was also digging slightly to see if there was anything only _his_ Yukio would know locked away in that brilliant brain. 

Yukio was a bit taken aback by the question. It didn’t seem exactly standard. But he had read about Toshiro Hitsugaya as soon as he found out he was being placed in his Division, so he began reciting back what relevant information he had about him. “You were a child prodigy, with reiatsu so powerful that you sped through the Academy rather easily. Your zanpakuto is Hyourinmaru, the strongest ice-type zanpakuto in existence. You have served as Captain for several decades, participating in several conflicts…” he felt as though he was rambling off a textbook entry, but truly, he didn’t have anything interesting to say. 

He laughed, though, when a completely random thought crossed his mind, “You take a nap most afternoons because you think it’ll make you taller, but you haven’t grown an inch in years.” His heart skipped and his eyes widened, and he _knew_ he had just overstepped. He had no idea where that had even come from. Surely he had just ruined every chance he had of this man ever thinking highly of him. In fact, it likely sounded like a tasteless joke.

Toshiro couldn't help that his expression softened even more, loving the sound of Yukio’s genuine laughter and the memory that had survived death. "That's entirely true, even the last. Do you have any idea why you knew that? Matsumoto-taicho would often place a blanket over me while I took that nap, but not even she knew _why._ Silly thing, I know, but I figured it couldn't hurt and I'm usually sleep deprived anyway."

Yukio was staring, wide-eyed at the man behind the desk. His heart never stopped pounding, and as his Captain’s expression softened as he spoke, Yukio thought he might faint. _Was_ there a reason he would know that? There had to be. He combed his mind, trying to place it. The strange deja vu he had felt looking at him, the random, seemingly personal fact that had populated in his mind… there _had_ to be a reason. “Even sitting down, I can tell you’re a little taller than… last time…” his mouth was running without his consent again, and he bit his tongue as he trailed off. 

This was more than unnerving. This was torture. Yukio brought his hand to his forehead, dropping his gaze to the floor as he thought. Toshiro Hitsugaya. _Should_ that name sound familiar? Emotions slowly started filtering in. Unfamiliar things like companionship, attachment, _happiness_ . And somehow it was all tied to that name. He closed his eyes, willing his mind to give him something. _Anything_ to make all of this make sense. And then it all seemed to flood back. Being given the slip of paper with the number on it. Actually _using_ it, and never once regretting reaching out to Toshiro Hitsugaya. When his eyes snapped back open and looked up to his Captain, they were filled with tears, but he was sure he was smiling. “Toshiro.”

Watching Yukio try to answer his question, the clear strain of trying to remember memories that may not even be there, had been torture for Toshiro. But he let him struggle through it, watching him carefully. And then Yukio looked at him with beautiful, tear-filled emerald eyes, smiling in _recognition_ as he said his _first_ name… Toshiro was in front of him within the space of a heartbeat, wrapping his arms around his smaller body as relief and emotion overwhelmed him. He knew he was crying too but at least these tears were happy after _so many_ tears of grief. "Yukio," he whispered, "I really thought I'd lost you…"

Yukio shamelessly buried his face in Toshiro’s shoulder, laughing but still crying. He locked his arms around Toshiro’s back, gathering his breath and his voice. “Toshiro, I can’t believe… I’m really sorry, I was trapped in some part of my past since I came to the Soul Society. I still can’t place exactly what happened that far back, but I just know it _hurt_ and I wasn’t myself. I felt like a child, but I couldn’t help it. It was all I knew. It was all I remembered,” he said, the harsh breaths and endless tears returning for several minutes, and he only reveled in feeling Toshiro’s arms around him. When he gathered himself again, he murmured, “But I remember you now. At least, most of it. I just know you were my best friend. The only person I really cared about.”

"You're my best friend too, Yukio. The things I told you, discussed with you… _No one_ else knows those things. And then you were just _gone_ and…" Toshiro took a deep breath, admitting quietly, "I've been a mess without you. I never deleted a single one of our messages, though I haven't been able to read them since… If you want, I'll give them to you. I've nothing to hide from you, Yukio. And I can't lose you again. You're my responsibility now, as my third seat and acting lieutenant, and I promise I'll protect you. I just, I can't deal with the thought of continuing on without you again… I've missed you _so_ much." Toshiro held him tighter, trying to calm himself down, assuring himself he was _really_ here with him, he remembered him, he was in his arms - safe. He didn't know if he could really let him go. 

Yukio couldn’t even reply for what felt like far too long, the only sounds in the room after Toshiro spoke being their own breathing. He left his forehead rested on Toshiro’s shoulder, just letting memories come to the surface as they seemed to continually fill in the gaps. “You love watermelon,” he murmured after a while, chuckling as the thought crossed his mind, shaking his head at the seemingly insignificant detail. “You hate it when Ukitake-taicho gives you candy,” he began simply speaking all of the things he knew about him, as he had been asked before, this time on a much more personal level. 

Eventually he ran out of random facts, saying quietly, “I’m sorry for the way I acted, Toshiro. You have no idea how glad I am to have _myself_ back. I felt lost in insecurity that I didn’t even have a reason for. I still don’t know what happened to me early in my former life - but it doesn’t matter now. Because I have _you_.” 

Toshiro withdrew just enough to look into his eyes, his arms still wrapped tight around him. "You do have me, Yukio. You always will. And I know exactly why you would feel that way, you don't need to apologize to me. You didn't have a pleasant childhood and if you couldn't remember anything from your adult life, the way you acted was entirely understandable. 

"Whatever you want to learn about your previous life, I'll help you fill in the gaps. I know how frustrating it is for you to not have all the information, to not be able to solve the whole puzzle." He smiled again, his teal eyes looking between visible, twin emerald. "It's been eleven years since I've actually _seen_ you. And I never once forgot your eyes… Though I admit it's odd to see both. The braid may be a great idea for combat, but if you want, I don't mind that you wear it down here. I want you to be comfortable with me, Yukio. This is your home now."

“Thank goodness,” Yukio muttered. He immediately brought a hand up around Toshiro’s shoulder to pull the tie from behind his ear and unweave his hair, allowing it to fall over his eye. “That’s much better. It’s strange, everything is running together now. Students at the Academy always said you were strict and mostly rule-oriented, so I had little hope that I would be able to wear my hair down in uniform. And now that just seems ridiculous to think about,” he admitted, chuckling at how conflicting his thoughts seemed to be now. 

"Well, I am both those things, they weren't wrong. But I have no reason to be strict with you, and I'm never needlessly that way. I know you're going to do your best, slacking off isn't in your nature, and I know you respect me. As for rules… There actually isn't an official rule about how to wear your hair. It's just a good idea to have it out of your face when fighting. Matsumoto-taicho almost never wears hers back, I'm certainly not going to mind you doing the same," Toshiro said with a chuckle. His fingers came forward to twine in the long, golden bangs, "Besides," he said softly, "You look more like _you,_ this way."

Yukio couldn’t help but lean into Toshiro’s hand, actually alarming himself with the action. He had only just remembered him, but he knew he had missed him terribly despite their daily conversations. “It did seem ridiculous to think there would be a _rule_ stating how I should wear my hair, but the instructors certainly didn’t make it sound like a suggestion. And I think you know how I am with unnecessary rules that micromanage my actions,” Yukio said, held back from laughter by the fact that he couldn’t keep his eyes away from the soft teal gaze of his Captain. He wasn’t able to explain it, perhaps more memories would make themselves known, but he felt some amount of attraction to him, though he didn’t _think_ he ever felt that way before. 

Toshiro stilled a bit as Yukio leaned into his hand. He found that his emotions were very confusing to him. He mostly felt joy and relief at having him with him again. But he'd never really _physically_ been with him. He knew that he loved Yukio, as he did Rangiku and everyone else that had become dear to him. But having him this physically near, Toshiro couldn't help but notice how attractive he was to him. 

Yukio was beautiful, adorable, _and_ sexy, all at the same time. It didn't help that the other shinigami was actually smaller than him - even if physically he appeared older - because Toshiro realized he found that completely endearing, loving the way he'd felt and fit in his arms when he'd hugged him. He'd never had to really navigate this before. Rangiku was objectively gorgeous but he'd never felt _attracted_ to her sexually. She was an elder sister to him, really. 

Yukio though… Toshiro found himself fighting the urge to lean forward and kiss those upturned lips. Which was entirely inappropriate. He backed away a bit more, allowing his hand to fall, trying to get a hold on his own reactions. It was likely he was mixing up his want to never lose him again with desire and Yukio didn't deserve anyone toying with him, _especially_ not his new Captain and long-lost best friend. 

Teal eyes wandered his form, but the action really only made the desire he felt increase. He paused, seeing the hilt of his zanpakuto, asking, "To have become third seat, you must have at least unlocked your shikai. May I know the name of your sword, and what your shinigami abilities are? Also… I wonder if you still have any access to your Fullbring ability…"

Yukio’s hand went to the hilt of his zanpakuto at mention of it. “It’s Shinryaku. It’s an… illusion-type zanpakuto. In shikai, I can actually create barriers, block off sections of an area in what _seems_ to be a soundproof, invisible… dimension, almost. I’m still perfecting it. Sometimes the barrier fails if my concentration breaks. Other than that, I haven’t found any ways to weaponize my ability, other than some opportunities to manipulate the space, so until I train more, I’m stuck with usual sword skills for offense. But I’m not sure what you’re talking about when you say Fullbring. I… don’t remember that from my other life. Really, I just remember you, and whatever happened far before that. I don’t know that I want the details right now. That would probably just be much too overwhelming,” Yukio explained. 

He had answered, but the way Toshiro was staring at him was a bit unnerving. The _way_ his eyes had wandered down to his zanpakuto had taken him by surprise. Almost like there was… _desire_ in his expression. He couldn’t deny that he was feeling something at least similar. He had missed Toshiro, that was clear from the relief that had inundated his heart, but he still felt like there was too much missing. How could he possibly be _attracted_ to this man? As far as he knew, they were only friends, and Toshiro hadn’t said or done anything to imply otherwise. So, they couldn’t have been lovers before. Still, the way he looked at him said there _was_ something else, even if it was a recent development. But it definitely wasn’t his place to point it out.

Toshiro smiled, "Shinryaku… Invader - how perfectly fitting. And your shikai suits you perfectly as well. I'll help you train, assist you so that you completely master it. And Fullbring was just the name for the type of ability you once had, nothing to worry about. I'll explain if you want, whenever you decide. It seems to have heavily affected your shinigami abilities, which means I'm familiar with what you likely have the capacity to learn how to do. It's a good thing, Yukio. I'm happy I'll be able to better help you."

Toshiro leaned back against his desk, Yukio still holding his entire attention. He suspected that was going to be a common occurrence, likely for quite a while. It was still surreal to him that he was _here_ in front of him. "Do you have any questions for me at all? You can ask me anything. As I said, I've nothing to hide from you, Yukio," Toshiro stated, the fondness in his tone impossible to hide each time he said the other's name - as if treasuring the ability to do so and have him hear it - his entire voice becoming more smooth as it lingered upon each syllable. 

Yukio shook his head, his hands tightening into fists around his hakama as they rested on his knees. He looked down for a moment, fighting vehemently against what he _wanted_ to do. But his body decided before his mind, and he was standing from the chair, leaning into Toshiro and wrapping his arms around him again. “I missed you,” he whispered, resting his head on Toshiro’s shoulder as more tears of pure overwhelming poured from his eyes. 

He had never felt so helpless to his own emotions. Usually he felt that he had at least some control, but since he had come to the Soul Society, everything seemed to have changed. He was himself, surely, especially now that he remembered his friendship with Toshiro, but he was more open, more willing to show what he was thinking and feeling. Perhaps that was just because he felt safe here, alone in the Tenth Division office with his best friend. Whatever the case was, he knew, no matter what changes death had caused, Toshiro would never hurt him.

Toshiro immediately wrapped his arms around him again and couldn't resist nuzzling into Yukio’s soft blonde hair, taking in his scent and humming in contentment. "There is no way to express how much I missed you, Yukio. How much it broke me when I thought I'd lost you. How ridiculously happy I am right now that you're here." He breathed deeply, also feeling overwhelmed. He'd always been completely honest with Yukio, so the words fell unfiltered from his lips, even though he was usually so cool and controlled, "I never got to hold you like this before, I never knew how perfect you felt in my arms… I don't ever want to let you go, Yukio. Promise you won't leave me like that again, especially now that you're actually _here,_ with me… Promise you'll stay…" 

Yukio only tightened his arms around Toshiro, turning his head to press into the side of his neck, trying and failing to keep more tears from his eyes. He shouldn’t be acting this way, especially toward his Captain. At least, that was what his recent training told him. But his _heart_ reminded him that this was his best friend. The intimate nature of Toshiro’s words didn’t escape him, though. Perhaps, as his memories returned, and he got the courage to ask Toshiro to help fill in the gaps, he could say the same. Because Toshiro’s body really _did_ feel perfect against him, his arms strong and protective around him. But he was far from ready to admit such a thing. So, he told him the only thing he knew he _could_ promise.

“I’ll never leave you, Toshiro. _Never_.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**__ **

**_Chapter 2:[Awake](https://youtu.be/ZKJrKx4wPbY)_ **

Yukio knew he had to be near the end of this maze. It was the third stage in his training session with Shinryaku, and his zanpakuto’s spirit was cunningly clever. Yukio was already panting, having survived crossing a dark, endless pit with only a mesh of narrow bridges connecting the two sides. Some could be manipulated, some couldn’t, and there was only one combination that would allow him across. It was a test of strategy, as many of Shinryaku’s trials were. The second had been a fairly classic scenario. The walls of the connecting hallway began to slowly close in on him, though this time it hadn’t been as simple as manipulating his surroundings - usually the walls’ functions could be stopped by a type of motion manipulation he had learned, but these were immune to such tricks, and he had learned that he could use his reiatsu as a powerful projectile, not unlike kido, but unique to his zanpakuto in that it didn’t require a command at all, just a good amount of concentrated energy and a flick of his wrist.

And now he was in a maze, the longest maze yet. The entire area seemed immune to everything he had learned so far, and he was exhausted from running, hitting dead ends, and running some more. He slumped against the stone wall of the maze, his mind running through everything he thought was possible to win. After all, this was a game to Shinryaku, and she never seemed to _want_ Yukio to win.

 _You’re almost there, master,_ the voice of his zanpakuto echoed through his inner world, and he only scoffed.

“You said that two hours ago. At least, it felt like two hours ago. What do you want me to do? I don’t think you made an exit this time, and you’ve probably closed off the entrance, too,” Yukio complained. A distant giggle was the only response he received, and he sighed, tilting his head back to rest it on the wall behind him. If he couldn’t manipulate the walls, and he couldn’t destroy them… what _did_ she want him to do? The only other possibility seemed, well, impossible. He had never tried to actually _negate_ things that were already there. Deleting things seemed beyond his current abilities. He could only move things that existed, and most times when he formed a closed-off dimension in the real world, he had no control over its initial appearance, just the ability to manipulate what was provided.

But maybe, if he tried, he could. Any other attempt resulted in minor breakdown of whatever he wanted to delete, but maybe Shinryaku was ready to let him this time. So, he stayed sitting against the wall and closed his eyes, focusing his reiatsu into the wall behind him. He knew they were all connected somehow, this being a maze, so if he deleted the wall he was touching, it should affect the entire structure. His entire being seemed to strain against what he was forcing it to do, but he stayed the course, and a single word was forced into his mind when he thought he was at the limit of his reiatsu output. “Sakujo,” he spoke, and the walls vanished, causing him to fall onto his back on the painfully hard concrete floor.

 _Very good, master!_ Shinryaku praised, flitting to him on her tiny fairy wings. Yukio chuckled when she landed on his chest, her ecstatic smile infectious. She was actually a happy little thing, though also conniving and devious, constantly finding new ways to challenge him. She was only a few inches tall, and really her clothing changed every time he saw her. This time, she was dressed in a feathered blue dress, layers of white tulle extending to her mid-thigh.

“You had me running around for hours when I could have just deleted the walls?” Yukio demanded, though his irritation was short-lived when she laughed. She tossed her long emerald green hair behind her shoulders and brought wide golden eyes to her master.

 _It wouldn’t have been any fun if I just told you what to do,_ she quipped. 

Yukio smiled and shook his head, his eyes wandering up to the sky. It was blue, clear of any turbulence at all, as it had been for a while now. “So, what’s with the dress today? That blue doesn’t really go with your hair,” he teased. Shinryaku gave an insulted grumble before she darted up to hover in his field of vision.

 _If you must know, I’ve grown to like these colors, as I think you have, too. Reflective of your icy Captain, aren’t they?_ she shot back. 

Yukio’s heart jumped a bit at that, and the tiny spirit only giggled, waving to him before flying off into the now empty expanse of his mind. He fought against the idea that he had been thinking of Toshiro _that_ much. So much that his zanpakuto spirit would think it necessary to rub it in his face. Though, she did spiteful things like that often, so it shouldn’t surprise him. 

But, really, trying _not_ to think of Toshiro just made him do exactly that. It had been a month since he had become his best friend’s third seat officer, and they had, predictably, continued to work well together. Yukio hadn’t mustered the courage to approach him about much outside of work other than his own past, which was beginning to make sense. He had read the messages Toshiro had saved, and he had finally understood exactly _why_ Toshiro had seemed so desperately relieved to see him again. They had messaged each other every day for _ten years_. But, all that time, they had really never touched. 

Now that they were actually together, Yukio was finding it more and more difficult to dismiss the painfully obvious fact that he was attracted to his Captain, and not just physically. Everything about him was amazing - his appearance, his mind, his work ethic, his abilities. He was almost unbearably adorable when he fell asleep on the couch in the office, which he didn’t do as often as he evidently had before, but it was still a rather common occurrence. On those days, Yukio didn’t leave the office until he woke, though he had to admit he didn’t get much work done while he was sleeping, either. He couldn’t help but stare at the relaxed expression on his usually stern face, though it softened a bit when he addressed Yukio. 

He found himself wishing Toshiro could share this solitude with him. Shinryaku knew to leave him to rest after training sessions, but he couldn’t help but think the time he spent alone would be more pleasant with Toshiro’s company. With a sigh, he folded his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. That had to be impossible. He had never heard of anyone being able to share their inner world with another.

Toshiro couldn't help but blink at the sudden appearance of clear blue sky within his vision. He'd been leaning back in his chair in the office, waiting on Yukio to return from training within his inner world, staring at the ceiling. With Yukio as acting lieutenant, he had far less work to do himself. He really was amazing at performing his duties - extremely thorough, organized, and he completed tasks as soon as they were received rather than by their due date. He'd never been so far ahead with paper work in his entire life as a Captain. 

And he'd been steadily mastering Shinryaku, training within his inner world every day. The progress was clear and Toshiro was exceedingly proud of him. He had already decided that, when he felt Yukio had complete mastery and confidence in his shikai, he was going to ask him to officially become his lieutenant. To do so before then would be seen as highly unusual - Kenpachi being the exception of course, but then the man cared little for formality. 

His attraction for his acting lieutenant had really only grown over the past month as well. He had to stop himself several times from doing or saying something rather forward. But Yukio just kept proving what a brilliant, competent, powerful man he was - at the same time being unintentionally sexy. Such as, when he was deep in thought, he tended to bring a finger or thumb up to his slightly parted lips, lightly biting down. It never lasted long but Toshiro was arrested by the action every time he did it within his sight. 

He also noticed that, as the days passed, Yukio got more comfortable being physically near to him. He would often lean into him when they stood or sat near each other without realizing he was doing so. If Toshiro actually touched him, he'd blush adorably but he wouldn't actually move away. He was certain his attraction wasn't one sided but he had never had a relationship before - never been with anyone romantically before _at all._ That tended to happen when every possible candidate only saw you as a child, though he'd long ceased to actually be one. He had no idea how to act on his attraction, or if Yukio would _actually_ be receptive to it, remembering how uninterested in relationships he'd always seemed to be before. 

He'd been thinking of him, as he usually was these days, just to have the ceiling of his office dissolve into a beautiful blue sky. Teal eyes trailed down to find the horizon met with gray. The ground was a plain concrete that seemed to extend - endlessly - and beside him, hands folded behind his head and eyes closed, was Yukio. Toshiro looked around again, knowing that there was only one place this could be but also knowing that _his_ being here should have been impossible. But then, this was Yukio, and dimensions were his specialty, so perhaps not so impossible for _him…_

"Yukio," Toshiro addressed, his voice soft so as not to startle him too much as he gently touched his arm. 

Yukio still habitually jerked away, eyes snapping open as he sat up and poised himself to retreat from the other presence in his private world. When he saw Toshiro, though, he froze. “What? Are you really…? How?” he asked, really unable to fathom what he was seeing. Perhaps it was just an illusion. After all, Shinryaku was keen on playing these kinds of tasteless jokes. But Toshiro had touched his arm, and he honestly seemed as surprised to be there as Yukio was to see him. His mind began to race, trying to rationalize how this had to have happened. He was only _thinking_ about him. That had never manifested in anything physical before. But his zanpakuto spirit knew his thoughts, and _she_ could have likely pulled this off. 

“I’m sorry, Shinryaku must have pulled you here. She’s… a bit spiteful, acting without my knowledge quite a bit while I’m training. While that kind of thing helps me think critically when it’s beneficial, I didn’t think she would go as far as to manipulate someone else,” Yukio apologized, relaxing a bit and turning to fully face Toshiro, crossing his legs before him and folding his hands in his lap. 

"Well, at least I wasn't busy," Toshiro chuckled. "May I meet her? If she pulled me here?" 

Yukio glanced around at the emptiness, knowing that she would show herself in response to such curiosity. She wasn’t exactly subtle. A beat of her wings near his ear caught his attention, and he felt her slight weight land on his shoulder. Of course, she was giving a rather mocking curtsey as she regarded Toshiro. “Toshiro, this is Shinryaku. Don’t let her cuteness fool you,” Yukio said with a laugh. 

Shinryaku giggled, winking at Toshiro. _It’s good to meet you, really. I’ve heard enough about you from master’s thoughts anyway,_ she said, trilling laughter surfacing as Yukio blushed deeply at her comment.

Toshiro blushed slightly as well, though he smiled at how perfectly fitting such a spirit was for Yukio. He had no illusions about how powerful this small, adorable spirit must be - especially if she was able to pull him here. "It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Shinryaku. And, honestly, Hyourinmaru has stated much the same. He says that my thoughts have become rather tunneled and uninteresting to him, though he no longer complains about the weather. Since your master returned to my life, he's never really out of my thoughts, and I'm honestly _happy_ again. It had been a blizzard within my own inner world the entire year since I thought I'd lost Yukio, but the sky is much the same as this now. Hyourinmaru much prefers flying in clear skies."

Shinryaku lowered herself to sit on Yukio’s shoulder, her tiny hand rested on his cheek. Yukio glanced at her, and the actual serious reminiscence in her bright golden eyes wasn’t all that familiar. _Master’s inner world was just… dark. I felt every bit of pain he had in his heart before he remembered you. I was very weak then, as master hadn’t been able to communicate with me well through the turmoil in his mind. He never saw his inner world that way. I never tried to pull him in. As much as he was already suffering, I didn’t want him to see the physical manifestation of that in his mind. I wasn’t sure that I was strong enough to do it anyway._

 _But, as soon as those memories were unlocked, it was like everything opened up. It was over the course of several days, but the more he grew to trust you, the more our bond grew as well. Now, this is what the sky is always like, and I am free to create whatever environment I wish, because the freedom of master’s mind gives me freedom as well,_ Shinryaku explained, giving her master a genuine smile. Yukio returned the expression, briefly leaning his cheek into her hand before looking back to Toshiro.

"I'm glad you have such freedom now. And it's clear how much you love and care for your master. Hyourinmaru was my only friend and confidant before Yukio - as odd as human emotions are for him to really sympathize with and understand - I know how important it is to have a strong bond with your zanpakuto. It's necessary to unlock your bankai. But more than that, it's necessary to really be at peace with yourself."

Toshiro turned to Yukio as he continued to speak, "Your zanpakuto spirit is entirely unique to you; they are the purest embodiment of a shinigami's strengths and weaknesses. Understanding her, you'll only understand yourself better. And the better you can work together, the more you'll accept yourself. And I think she's lovely," Toshiro said with a fond smile. "She's as powerful, cunning, playful, and adorable as you are - when you allow yourself just be _yourself."_

Shinryaku laughed when Yukio blushed again at the compliments. She slid off of his shoulder, catching herself with her wings and fluttering over to Toshiro, hovering before him. _Thank you for giving master someone to talk to, someone that really cares about him. I guess I’ll leave you two alone now. I don’t want to feel like I’m interrupting anything. You can stay as long as you’d like,_ she said with a suggestive wink.

"I don't even know _how_ to leave," Toshiro said with an amused smile. He really did like her, but that wasn't surprising with how he felt about Yukio. "Can I simply pull myself out as I would in my own inner world? Or am I reliant on one of you to release me?" If this was anything similar to Yukio’s Fullbring, he was likely stuck. Not that he didn't trust him to release him, he just wondered if Shinryaku somehow thought that he didn't realize that possibility. He knew he had little to no power here. 

Shinryaku looked back at her master, who was watching their exchange critically, obviously waiting for more brazen comments from her. But, he didn’t really know the rules here, and even if Toshiro _could_ leave of his own power, she could convince them both otherwise rather easily. _As long as you’re touching my master when he decides to leave, you’ll leave with him,_ she replied, loudly enough that they could both hear.

Yukio gasped, emerald eyes narrowing toward her. “There’s no way that’s true,” he shot.

She turned to him, shrugging and shaking her head. _I don’t make the rules,_ she replied innocently.

“Yes, you _do_ ,” Yukio retorted. But she was already flying away, giggling all the while as she disappeared into the expanse of his mind. Yukio sighed, though he was smiling when he turned back to Toshiro. “She’s… something,” he said with a chuckle. 

Toshiro's expression was impossibly fond as he leaned towards him slightly, Yukio’s laughter always endearing to him, "As I said before," Toshiro stated, the desire he felt for this man clear in his darkened teal eyes, "I think she's lovely." 'Because I think _you're_ lovely,' remained unsaid between them, but Toshiro could tell from the deepening blush and the slight widening of beautiful emerald eyes that Yukio had understood exactly what he'd meant. 

Yukio really didn’t know how to react to Toshiro leaning toward him, but he did know he didn’t want to pull away. The rather obvious admiration in his eyes and words made a chill spark down his spine, and he very much wanted to close the small distance between their lips. But he honestly had no idea what Toshiro’s intentions were, so he didn’t even know if that would be a welcome action. “Did you… want to leave or do you want to spend some time here… alone?” he asked, his voice much more uncertain than he intended. 

"I only ever want to spend my time with you, Yukio. And this does seem like the perfect place to not be disturbed or distracted. I'll stay with you here, as long as you want. We're so far ahead with our work, I think we can get away with being missing for a while," Toshiro answered, his words soft as he lifted his hand to Yukio’s cheek, threading his fingers through the long hair that covered one brilliant emerald eye, leaning even closer to catch sight of it hidden through the strands. He'd never felt his heart beat so fast while being so still, Yukio the center of his entire focus, desire stronger than he'd ever felt before racing through him. He didn’t know if he had the will to retreat at this point, desperately wanting to kiss him but carefully trying to read if Yukio wanted him to do so as well. 

Yukio was breathing rather shallowly at this point, feeling Toshiro’s breath on his lips and attempting to decipher his expression. Clearly, his proximity and the fact that his hand was resting on his cheek meant _something._ Yukio wasn’t clueless enough to think it didn’t. He was shaking a bit, nervous to actually do what he incredibly wanted to, but fairly certain that Toshiro wanted it, too. So, even though his face was burning and his hands were trembling in his lap, he tilted his head slightly and pressed his lips to Toshiro’s, sharply inhaling through his nose when he felt that his entire body caught fire with the action.

Toshiro moaned at the feeling of _finally_ feeling Yukio’s lips against his own. His hands reached for him, teal eyes falling shut, as he pulled him towards himself to straddle his lap, moaning again at feeling his slight weight upon him. Toshiro parted his own lips, exchanging breath, allowing and inviting Yukio to deepen the kiss. He didn't really know what he was doing but he knew he wanted to feel him, wanted to see that playful curiosity that he adored directed at himself, wanted Yukio to know how much he wanted - needed - him. 

Yukio took only a moment to catch his breath. He wasn’t even really sure how he had ended up in Toshiro’s lap, but he really didn’t care. He _wanted_ this man, and he had never felt that way about anyone before. He was only more enticed by the completely lustful expression on Toshiro’s face, lips slightly parted and eyes half-lidded as he waited for a response. Yukio then invaded Toshiro’s mouth with his tongue, moaning heavily into the other’s mouth at the taste. He brought his hands up to press them to Toshiro’s chest, slowly pushing him back until he was lying flat on the concrete under them, still straddling his hips and devouring his mouth as he did.

Toshiro groaned, the sound tortured with need and his voice deep. He was so painfully hard, it was impossible to think straight. Yukio felt amazing, his full weight settled against his chest, his tongue exploring each part of his mouth as Toshiro yielded to him even as he played with his own tongue. He wanted to taste him too but he could wait for hours to do so if Yukio was going to be this sexily passionate. Toshiro didn't even recognize the sounds he was making as he moaned, whined, and whimpered beneath him, desperate for something but not having the experience or understanding to know exactly what he wanted, only knowing this felt amazing and he never wanted Yukio to stop. 

Yukio was actually surprised that Toshiro was taking absolutely no control of the encounter, as decisive and confident as the man usually was. He figured, though, that he _had_ lived in the Soul Society at least since he was a child, so he was unsure how familiar he was with any of this. Having many memories of his former life, Yukio did at least know _what_ was going on. He pulled back from Toshiro’s mouth for a moment, panting lightly as he looked down on him. Toshiro already looked rather disheveled, his usual air of poise completely dismissed in light of the desire he was obviously experiencing. 

“Toshiro… I don’t want to insult you, but… you’ve never done this before, have you?” Yukio asked, not really able to keep the amusement from his voice.

"Never," Toshiro panted, whimpering a bit at how painful his arousal was, never thinking it could really feel that insistent. "You're - the first person - I've ever even kissed - Yukio," Toshiro managed out through labored breaths. Teal eyes stared into emerald green, desperate, as he said, "I don't know what - to do I just - just _need_ you - Yukio -" his voice cut off with a groan as he shifted, his arousal lightly brushing against Yukio above him. 

Yukio smiled softly, honestly endeared by how adorably innocent Toshiro was. But, he knew he needed relief, _soon_ if he was acting like that. “This isn’t the time for me to go into detail about my past experience, even if it is very limited. I just need to know if you trust me, with _every_ part of you. This is my first time doing this with another person, too, but I do know what to do,” Yukio said, not willing at all to do anything until he had an answer. There was no way he was just going to bear down and start grinding on him without permission.

"Yukio," Toshiro tried to focus through the feeling of pure, torturous need, "I trust you - completely - with my life - my heart - and every part of my body. I'm _yours_ Yukio - I've always been - please - need you -" 

The absolutely desperate words falling from Toshiro’s lips only brought Yukio’s own arousal sharply to his attention. “I never thought I’d hear you talk like that,” he groaned, lowering his hips to press into Toshiro’s hard length with his own. Heat flooded him, and he knew he likely wouldn’t last much longer than Toshiro. He had never felt this way about someone before, had never wanted to do this with anyone in his entire life. He felt like he just couldn’t stop as he slowly but decisively rutted into Toshiro under him.

The moment Yukio thrust his length against his own, Toshiro felt his hips move, matching his slow, decisive movements and allowing him to guide him. He cried out at the sensation, not comprehending that this could possibly feel this good. "Yukio -" Toshiro gasped, "You feel amazing - Ngh - Damn this feels good - more Yukio - need more -" 

Yukio groaned as Toshiro begged, pressing down into him more firmly and increasing the pace. At the same time, he lowered himself down to prop on his elbows, ducking his head below Toshiro’s jawline and littering firm, slow kisses along the side of his neck, occasionally darting his tongue out between his lips and moaning into his skin at the taste. “Everything about you is amazing, Toshiro. You _taste_ so good,” he groaned.

Toshiro's hands immediately clung to Yukio’s hips as he brought his mouth to his neck, not really realizing that he was guiding his hips even faster against him as he moved beneath him. Every part of his body felt like it was on fire and he felt an overwhelming amount of pressure building within him. "Yukio," he gasped, "Yukio - I -" he didn't know the words but he knew he was reaching some peak - this amount of pleasure simply couldn't continue. 

Yukio allowed Toshiro to set the pace of their thrusts, and he felt his own climax quickly approaching, even more so as Toshiro voiced his own need. “When you feel it, just let go. You’ll know what - ah, damn - you’ll know what I mean when it happens. I’m close, too,” he said quickly, barely able to get the words out through the sharp pleasure that was gathering in his core, sweat breaking out on the back of his neck as he was forced ever closer to the edge by Toshiro’s desperate pace.

A few more desperate thrusts and Toshiro understood what Yukio had meant - he could hold himself back or he could _let go._ Toshiro did as Yukio told him to, his entire body arching up into him as he cried out Yukio’s name, repeating it in an ever softer voice as he felt waves of pleasure crash over his body, trembling beneath him. He realized his hakama were rather uncomfortably wet but he couldn't begin to care, half-lidded teal eyes focused on Yukio’s own expression of pure pleasure - a sight he definitely wanted to see as often as possible. Yukio was even more gorgeous to him, completely lost in pleasure. 

It only took seconds after Toshiro all but screamed his name for Yukio to be claimed by his own orgasm, groaning low and deep as the heat rushed his body, relieving the tension that had gathered. He couldn’t even get words out past the sheer amount of pleasure that covered every inch of his skin in an exhilarating tingle, the muscles in his core spasming involuntarily as the shockwaves passed over him. When his body began to settle, he looked at Toshiro, who was watching him with the most wrecked expression he could have ever imagined. “You’re _gorgeous_ like that,” he murmured, taking his lips in a slow, calming kiss. He pulled away after a moment, bringing one hand up to brush the stray hair away from Toshiro’s forehead. “Better now?” he asked with a smile.

"Better," Toshiro murmured and then laughed, breathlessly, "I've never felt so damn good. Yukio, you're amazing, everything about you. I can't get enough of you. I'm painfully aware of my own ignorance with this, but I desperately want to be able to do everything I can to bring you pleasure like that again - you're so beautiful…"

Yukio kissed Toshiro’s cheek. “There’s a lot we can do, actually, but probably not all right now. Your body probably needs some time to recover. And I hope that when we do more, I bring you pleasure, too. This isn’t one-sided. I want to make you feel good, too,” he said, shifting to kiss from under Toshiro’s ear, down his jawbone to his chin before meeting his lips, taking them in another kiss. He honestly would never stop kissing him if he had the option. He stopped just long enough to say, “And you’re absolutely stunning to me,” before claiming his mouth again, parting his lips and running his tongue over Toshiro’s, requesting that he mirror the action.

Toshiro moaned, instantly responding, already feeling a small wave of heat as he followed Yukio’s actions, mirroring him with his own tongue. Gaining confidence by Yukio’s sounds of pleasure and his slightly trembling form above him, he became more claiming himself, sliding his tongue to explore Yukio’s mouth and groaning at the feel and taste of him. He slid a hand into the soft blonde hair, moving as Yukio had to him, seeking out each part of his mouth with his insistent tongue, completely loving the smaller man's reaction. 

Yukio moaned into Toshiro’s mouth, willingly allowing him to explore his mouth as he had to him. The way he took fairly determined control had warm pleasure pooling in his core, and he was actually shocked to realize that he was recovering _very_ quickly. Though, he had to admit, he had never had a reason to _want_ to recover this quickly before. He lowered his body to completely cover Toshiro’s, groaning lightly at the feel of his body against him, only wishing there was less fabric between them, really, but not knowing just how far Toshiro was willing to go, considering they had only just begun to be this intimate with one another. 

Needing to breathe, Toshiro pulled away from Yukio’s sweet mouth. He could tell he was growing hard against him again and he grinned, his voice filled with curiosity and desire as he stated huskily, "You said there's a lot we can do. I want you to teach me, Yukio. I can't think of anything I don't want to do with you, I really can't get enough of you."

Yukio gave him a lust-filled smile. “Perhaps you can’t think of anything you don’t want to do with me because you can’t _think_ at all. I never thought you were _capable_ of being like this, so happy and free to just listen to what your heart wants. You’re always so uptight and worried about everything, it’s good to see you let go… with me,” he said quietly, turning to kiss Toshiro’s cheek.

"I've always found myself to be different when it comes to you, but being with you every day… You're changing me even more. You ease so much of my stress and burden, and I learned long ago that I can be completely open and honest with you. I've never felt more alive than when I'm with you, Yukio. I'm thinking clearly - now - and I can't be anything but completely honest with you. Not after so long. 

"I want you, Yukio. I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours. I want to give you every part of me and take care of every part of you. Whatever you want, I want that too. You'll need to teach me, but I'm a fast learner," Toshiro said with a grin, reaching up to cup the side of his head, his thumb caressing Yukio’s smooth cheek. "I've loved you for a long time, Yukio. But I know this is different than I've felt for anyone else in my life. I'm _in love_ with you, Yukio. I just want to be yours, to be with you, just show me how."

Yukio shut his eyes tightly, completely lowering his weight onto Toshiro’s body and burying his face in soft white hair. “I thought I was past crying. But, I guess I’m different with you, too. Usually I’d want to hide this… this weakness to emotion. But I’m actually pretty sure you want to see it,” he said, his voice somewhat muffled from where he had nuzzled into Toshiro’s hair. He took a deep breath, hoping to calm himself but only expediting the arrival of the tears in his eyes, and they flowed down his cheeks until they caught on the smooth hair. “I don’t remember anyone saying they loved me. So, it’s… it’s a lot to take in, really. But I know I love you, too, Toshiro. I’m _in love_ with you, too. And I want us to take care of each other, and be with each other in every way we can,” he said through the emotion that threatened to close his throat.

Toshiro held him tightly as Yukio cried, smiling at his open show of emotion. He knew he was likely only not crying himself because his life _hadn't_ been as _objectively_ lonely as Yukio’s had been. He knew people loved him. He had had family - he had distanced himself for _their_ safety. But Yukio was strong enough that he wasn't concerned that he would unintentionally hurt him with his powerful reiatsu, and he knew he literally _couldn't_ do so on purpose. Also, he simply didn't have any tears left after all the grief and relief he had gone through in the past year. He was just unbelievably _happy_ and so completely in _love._

"Can you choose where we appear, when we leave this place?" Toshiro asked softly as Yukio's tears began to subside. "I want you to see my home, to lay with you like this in my bed. And I'd like you to stay with me there, to be with me each night - I don't want to miss a single moment with you."

Yukio was taken aback by the offer. Was he actually… asking him to move in with him? He supposed as new as all of this friendship and connection seemed to be to Yukio - he only had a small taste of what he was actually feeling when the memories first starting flowing in - Toshiro had over a decade of friendship to look back on, uninterrupted and clear in his mind. “I’ve never really tried… I always just go back to my body where it was when I began the jinzen. I believe Shinryaku brought your entire body here, but I’m still just in my own mind. I’m not sure how I would even direct where we ended up,” he voiced his thoughts, his mind working to figure out a solution. 

_Master, if you’d allow me, I can spare a bit of my power for you just this once. It’s an advanced technique, and in time you will learn to do it yourself, but I will lend it to you for this,_ Shinryaku’s voice pierced the silent expanse they lay in. Yukio looked up, lifting himself up onto his elbows again to glance around. When she appeared, she was standing directly next to Toshiro’s head.

“Thank you, Shinryaku. Do what you need to do,” Yukio told her, giving her a soft smile. 

_Well, I can’t let you wander the Seireitei in the state you’re in. That would be embarrassing for all of us. I don’t think Hyourinmaru would appreciate it much, either, if his master showed his face in public like this. So, Toshiro, imagine where you want to be, and tell my master when you’re ready, and he can pull you both out of here the same way as usual, but you’ll be where you want to be. This requires a lot of manipulation, so you may feel a bit tired when you resurface, master,_ Shinryaku explained. She kicked off the ground to hover between them, putting a hand on each of their foreheads and nodding to Toshiro.

Toshiro closed his eyes, finding it very easy to remember the room he considered his own personal sanctuary. He'd never expected to _want_ to share that space with anyone. But he really did want to give Yukio every part of himself. "I'm ready," he said confidently, knowing he could keep the picture clear in his mind. 

Yukio gave his zanpakuto spirit a nod as a goodbye, and then closed his eyes himself, feeling the familiar pull back to reality. It was just as simple as usual, though when he felt his consciousness fully returning, his reiatsu was quite obviously drained more than it should have been from a normal session. They were still in the same position when he felt a soft surface under them, and as soon as he felt he could, he fully collapsed onto Toshiro, panting a bit with the toll the stunt had taken on his body. “Sorry. She was right. That took a lot out of me,” he murmured, a bit embarrassed that such a seemingly simple thing had so thoroughly used him up.

Toshiro rubbed his back soothingly, "Do you even realize how incredible it was, what you just did? Yukio, you can essentially teleport people, using your own inner world as a dimensional bridge. Even if you can't do it on your own yet, even if it's draining now - you have no idea how powerful you actually are, do you?"

Yukio chuckled and shook his head. “I guess not, because I can’t do it myself yet. I know there’s a lot I don’t know about Shinryaku. She really does amaze me. I’m surprised she did me a favor, though. She makes me jump through hoops for anything else,” he said. Yukio turned to look at Toshiro from where his head was resting on his shoulder, smiling at the pride in those soft teal eyes.

Toshiro chuckled, "Maybe she likes me then, if you don't think she was being entirely honest about worrying over our appearance to others. Hyourinmaru is grateful to her, by the way. For a dragon he's actually rather… regal," Toshiro said with a small laugh. "Perhaps next time she pulls me to your inner world, I can attempt to manifest him there as well so you can both properly meet him. I'm sure I could, if it's my entire body she pulls there."

Yukio laughed. “If he’s at all regal, I’m not sure he and Shinryaku would be very compatible. Though she was calmer than usual while you were there, so maybe she’ll behave herself with _two_ visitors,” he said, the smile lingering as he looked over Toshiro’s face. He was beginning to feel his strength return, but he still had a bit of a difficult time pushing up from being completely lax against Toshiro’s body. But when he shifted, he realized they were both still quite a mess, and the release that had soaked into his hakama was beginning to thicken and become sticky as it dried. “We… should probably get cleaned up, honestly,” he said quietly.

"This does feel rather unpleasant, afterwards," Toshiro commented. He sat up, easily supporting Yukio’s slight weight against him, "I can carry you to the bath, if you want. I have my own, as Captain. I would even help you, if you're comfortable with that. No one comes near here, my division knows how dangerous it is… I sometimes release my reiatsu in my sleep at night. I'm not worried about you though - you're so strong, Yukio, I know you can handle my power if I unwittingly release it around you."

Yukio laughed and rolled his eyes. “I’m glad you have such faith in my abilities, but I don’t feel strong right now. I feel ridiculous having you carry me, but I don’t have much of a choice, I suppose. My reiatsu is coming back quickly, though. I’ll be fine by later tonight,” he said, more to assure himself than Toshiro. 

Toshiro nodded, kissing his cheek, smiling at being able to do such a simple thing and know it was welcomed, before standing from the bed, supporting Yukio against himself as he did so. As they walked through the house, Toshiro told him where everything was, giving him a brief tour of sorts. He just really wanted Yukio to feel as comfortable here as he did. 

The truth was, this _was_ the Tenth Division's Captain's home, but it had been Toshiro's since he had joined as third seat. Shiba-taicho had actually moved him in with him, knowing the danger he could cause in the common barracks, and the man had become a father to him during that time. Even now, as Captain, he still used the room he had been given all those years ago, Shiba-taicho's remaining untouched since he'd gone missing. 

He knew he wasn't missing at all - now - but still, ignoring that room had become habitual to him at this point. He didn't really even blame the man for leaving, or leaving himself and Rangiku out of the loop when he did. He was just happy that he'd been able to find love and raise a family, as annoying as Kurosaki could be. 

When they arrived in the bathing room, Toshiro set Yukio down upon the bench. He looked him over as he said, "I really will help you, Yukio, if you'd allow me to… Or I can wait just outside for you to be done. Whatever you're more comfortable with."

Yukio was actually more surprised by the _way_ Toshiro phrased what he was asking than _what_ he was asking. He had already offered to help, but just how soft his voice was, really just wanting to help, and nothing more, honestly swayed him more than his own mind, which wasn’t really sure how to respond. “I’m honestly not sure I’d have the strength right now to keep myself standing to get undressed, and it’ll just take twice as long if I’m struggling to get anything done,” he said, though he realized that it wasn’t really an answer. “I guess what I’m saying is that you can help me.”

Toshiro nodded, leaning forward to gently kiss his cheek as he smiled at him. He began removing each part of Yukio's shihakusho, trying not to stare too long at his beautiful body because he didn't want to make him uncomfortable at all. When he was entirely bare, he carefully washed his body and hair, keeping his touch gentle and soothing. He couldn't help but remember when he'd been bathed this way, when he actually was still a child, but it was decidedly different when you were so completely attracted to the person you were doing this with. He stamped down hard on his own arousal though, just wanting to take care of Yukio while he was reliant upon him. 

Yukio wasn’t exactly _embarrassed_ by the fact that he was being bathed. It was necessary, after all, he didn’t have the strength to do it himself and he couldn’t exactly wait for it to return under the circumstances. It was the fact that he had to keep his eyes decidedly _not_ on Toshiro that was rather humiliating. Because, as he felt his reiatsu trickling back in, he also felt arousal. What they had done before was a relief, of course, but the fact that Toshiro had so clearly expressed his willingness and desire to do more knocked at the back of his mind. And that certainly wasn’t something he needed to be thinking about while the man was touching his naked body. But it was sure to be obvious soon that he _was_ thinking about it.

Once Yukio was clean, Toshiro gently dried him off with a fluffy towel and helped him into one of his own yukatas. He looked far better, and entirely adorable with damp, quickly drying hair. Toshiro desperately felt the need to clean himself, as it really wasn't a pleasant feeling having sticky hakama, but he was unsure what to do with Yukio. He supposed he'd simply _ask._ "Do you want to remain here while I clean myself? Otherwise I can bring you back to lay on the bed. I don't mind either way, I really have nothing to hide from you, Yukio. I'm not at all uncomfortable around you."

Yukio felt heat flood his cheeks at the question. “I, um, I can stay here. It wouldn’t make sense for you to have to take me to the bedroom just to come back here,” he rationalized. He was already determined to _not_ stare, but honestly just _knowing_ he was going to be completely nude in the same room was enough to force him to take deep breaths. Obviously Toshiro was a more mature man than he was, as tactfully as he had handled actually bathing him. 

Toshiro made rather efficient work of removing his own clothing, not wanting Yukio to wait on him for long. He didn't even bother washing his own hair, as his was far thicker and took forever to dry. He would usually only do so in the morning as a result and never before he was about to lay down in bed. Thankfully he had a _bed_ \- he had traded out his futon for a western bed after his first mission to Living World and never regretted it. He supposed some of Rangiku's indulgences had rubbed off on him after all. He managed to get himself clean in just a handful of minutes before drying himself off and putting on his own yukata. 

Yukio had been fervently _not_ watching Toshiro, his eyes focused on a wall well away from where he was bathing. He did catch a glimpse when he thought he had already gotten dressed, and he had to mask a gasp as a small, sudden cough. Perhaps Toshiro’s resistance to such distractions came from age, because Yukio knew he was actually much older than he was, or maybe it was the lack of anticipation because Toshiro just didn’t _know_ what Yukio was imagining. Whatever it was, Yukio wished he had that amount of self-control. He moved to stand from the bench when it appeared that Toshiro was ready to leave the room, and he actually found that he could, though he was unsure whether he could make it all the way to the bedroom without support, at least.

Toshiro turned to find Yukio standing and immediately came to him, wrapping an arm around his back and bringing one of Yukio’s around his shoulders. "I really don't mind carrying you," Toshiro said, blushing slightly as he admitted, "I actually really enjoy holding you, Yukio. But if you'd rather walk…"

Toshiro blushing was likely one of the most adorable things Yukio had ever seen, but he was well aware of how much Toshiro hated others using such terms to describe him, so he kept it to himself. “I guess you can carry me if you want to, but I am getting my strength back. I just wanted you to see that I’m fine,” he replied. He was really touched by Toshiro’s desire to be close to him, but he did find it rather unnecessary. Who was he to deny him, though? Especially if it meant the stern man actually being _vulnerable_ and caring toward him.

Toshiro grinned, lifting him easily into a bridal carry. "Do you want me to bring you back to the bed, now? I could make you something if you're hungry… I know you said you're fine now but that clearly depleted a great deal of your reiatsu - you'll need rest _and_ food to fully recover. If you're not hungry now though, that's fine, but I'm making sure you eat before we go to sleep for the night… Assuming you're staying with me, that is…" Toshiro trailed off. After all, Yukio hadn't really agreed or commented on his offer. 

“Yes, I believe Shinryaku’s comment that I would be ‘a bit tired’ was an understatement. I am hungry, and I know I’ll feel much better after I eat. And I’d… I’d love to stay with you, Toshiro,” Yukio replied, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

Toshiro smiled warmly in relief at his words, turning his face to catch Yukio's lips with his own. Yukio gasped slightly in surprise and Toshiro took advantage to deepen the kiss. He was far calmer and slow as he explored his mouth again, humming into the kiss, loving his taste and how he responded to him. 

Yukio was pleasantly surprised at Toshiro’s confidence. Just barely an hour ago, if he was judging time correctly, because he really wasn’t sure, was the first time he had kissed anyone at all, and he was already initiating such a thing, and quite well. Yukio tightened his grip around Toshiro’s neck, pulling them together a bit more firmly. After a few short moments, though, he felt himself enjoying it far too much, and he broke away, taking a deep, shuddering breath as he did. “I do need to eat, and if you keep doing things like that I’m going to insist on the bed instead,” he admitted.

Toshiro chuckled, taking in his flush face and affected breathing, loving every inch of the man in his arms. He kissed his forehead in reply before carrying him to sit at the table in the kitchen. He recalled Yukio actually preferring western food, having been raised with it. He knew he had chicken breasts and several vegetables, thinking that would be quick and easy. His motions were efficient and practiced as he worked and moved around the kitchen - after all, he'd had to cook for himself these past thirty years after Shiba-taicho had left. 

Yukio found that he was absolutely taken by anything Toshiro did. He had seen him do many things over the past month, but he had no other memory of him other than their distanced correspondence, so _seeing_ him train, work, and now do such a domestic thing as cooking was still a novelty. He was incredibly graceful in everything, and this was no exception. When a plate of food was being placed in front of him, he knew he was openly staring, meeting Toshiro’s bright teal eyes with absolute awe and admiration.

Toshiro met his look, seeing the clear wonder in those beautiful emerald eyes and he actually felt an odd mixture of pride and self-consciousness that he'd been watched so avidly. He felt the blush return to his face, murmuring, "I remembered you preferred western-prepared food… I didn't have much on hand but I can order more ingredients for that style of cooking. 

"I can cook most anything, really… I've had quite a lot of time to practice, living alone so long… It's actually really nice to have someone to cook for. So, whatever you'd like, just let me know. This is fairly simple but I hope you enjoy it." Toshiro took his own seat, still feeling a bit self-conscious. He liked his own cooking but hadn't really had anyone other than Rangiku try it, so he wasn't as confident about it as other things, even though logically he knew he was skilled after so many years of practice, trial, and error. 

Yukio nodded, but he was well aware that he was being watched as he began to eat. Almost as though Toshiro was waiting for his judgment, which he found highly amusing. He took several bites before speaking, and truly everything was very well prepared. “This is terrible, Toshiro, you really should never cook again,” he said, as dryly as he could manage. Though, when he glanced over to see wide, disbelieving eyes, he couldn’t help but burst out laughing. 

Teal eyes instantly narrowed, before Toshiro smirked, "I take it back then. I bend to your infinite wisdom. I'll never cook again. After over thirty years of practice, if it's that terrible, clearly I'm hopeless."

Yukio was still fighting back laughter as Toshiro spoke, actually quite relieved he had caught the joke. When he finally calmed, he reached for Toshiro’s hand on the table, taking it in his and meeting his eyes again, a wide smile still on his lips. “If you don’t cook for me I’ll likely starve, which is really a better fate than relying on the Division mess hall. I can’t cook at all, and this is fantastic. I actually wouldn’t mind if you taught me sometime,” Yukio voiced his true opinion, squeezing Toshiro’s hand to assure him that he wasn’t serious about his teasing. 

"Of course I'll teach you. You'd be amazing at cooking, you're so creative. And you'll have to cook for both of us now because I'm never cooking again," Toshiro said with a completely straight face and level voice, though his eyes showed a clear amount of amusement. 

Yukio smirked. “Well, I’m sure I’ll learn fast enough. Then I’ll be better than you at it in just a couple years. You’ll be begging me to cook for you, and I won’t mind because you’re irresistible when you beg,” he replied with no small amount of heat in his voice. He had been eating while Toshiro spoke, and he had almost finished his meal. And when he did he certainly planned to be the one teaching _Toshiro_ something. 

Toshiro's eyes widened at Yukio’s words before turning heated, desire hitting him ridiculously hard. Honestly, how could anyone _that_ adorable be _that_ sexy? Toshiro's physical body wasn't really helping him at all, being vaguely around age seventeen, responding to such blatant teasing almost instantly. And, unfortunately for him, that was an advantage Yukio was going to have for _decades_ and the smaller man knew exactly how to exploit anything to his advantage. 

Toshiro tried to match his teasing though, even without any experience. He refused to be shy about how much he wanted Yukio. The man was irresistible to him and he deserved to know that, "You agreed to teach me as well," Toshiro said heatedly, "So does that mean you're going to teach me how to make _you_ beg? I bet you'd sound lovely, begging for me…"

Yukio almost choked on his last bite of food at that, dropping his chopsticks and bringing his hand to his chest. “For someone who doesn’t know anything about relationships, you certainly do pick up on things quickly,” he said through his coughing fit. When he was finally sure he _wasn’t_ going to choke, he looked up to Toshiro and he couldn’t help but smile. “Honestly, I don’t think I’m going to have to teach you that. I’m sure I’ll end up begging as soon as I actually get a good look at your body.”

Toshiro smirked a bit, replying, "You didn't get a good enough look earlier? I thought I heard you cover up a gasp with a cough. Also, of course I pick up on things quickly, I'm a child prodigy remember? I graduated Academy in the same amount of time as you, but I was physically age eleven and mentally twenty one when I did so. I love learning, and this is simply another opportunity for me to do so. And you should know, I'm _very_ thorough when I learn something. I usually insist on practicing until I perfect my technique. So I'll need you to be willing to help me out with that," Toshiro stated, his voice dropping lower as more desire flooded his own body, remembering vividly how Yukio had looked lost in pleasure and wanting to see him like that again - continually. 

Yukio’s eyes widened a bit, and he was very much glad that much of his strength had returned in the midst of their banter, because he was actually able to stand from his seat and swiftly walk around the table to stand before Toshiro, immediately bracing his hands on his shoulders and taking his mouth in an aggressive kiss.

Toshiro's teal eyes widened at Yukio’s assertiveness, finding himself yielding immediately without a thought, desperately wanting this man. As Yukio practically devoured his mouth, Toshiro pulled him to straddle his lap before standing, easily supporting him. Luckily Toshiro could navigate to his room without sight because he wasn't seeing much of anything, eyes barely open as he played with Yukio’s tongue with his own, moaning deeply. When he reached the side of the bed he stood beside it, losing himself in Yukio’s kiss, his weight nothing in his strong arms. 

Yukio hardly knew they had made it to the bedroom, but a small glimpse at his surroundings informed him, and he broke away from Toshiro’s mouth, his emerald eyes dark with lust and his voice rather husky as he said, “Toshiro, you said you wanted to give me all of yourself, but… I know you don’t really know what that means. Are you sure?” He definitely didn’t want to rush into this, and if Toshiro needed time, he was more than willing to give it to him. There were other things they could do together, after all.

"I meant what I said, Yukio. I may not know everything that means, giving all of myself to you in this context, but that doesn't make it less true. I know you, that you would never harm me. I know anything you do with me will only feel good. I trust you completely with this. Whatever you want me to do, whatever you want to do to me, I just want you. I'm sure." Toshiro's teal eyes showed only conviction and certainty, his confidence in Yukio readily apparent, knowing he'd do anything for this beautiful man. 

Yukio took in a strained breath. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous himself, but he knew he wanted it, and the complete confidence in Toshiro’s eyes motivated him to go through with it. “Alright, I’m going to ask you what might sound like an odd question… Do you have anything around here that can be used as a lubricant? Because I don’t think it’s really a good idea to go about this just improvising. I really don’t want to hurt you,” Yukio asked rather bluntly. If Toshiro was going to do these things with him, he would need to learn to accept that completely open communication was going to accompany it.

Toshiro blinked, a bit thrown by the question. "A lubricant… I have massage oils. Training a still growing body that ages ridiculously slowly isn't exactly fun." He grinned, "Maybe I can convince you to help massage out some of the constant growing pains. I'm actually another six inches taller, fully grown."

Yukio laughed, everything else he said put on hold at his last statement. “How in the world could you possibly know that?” he asked, quite amused by what sounded to be a ridiculous assumption.

"My bankai… It's actually immature, needing my fully mature body to channel Hyourinmaru's power completely. He needs time, but he can _force_ my body to age into being a full adult in order to wield his full power. I don't like it, honestly, it's just as draining as I'm sure what Shinryaku did to you earlier - I'm practically useless for a long while afterwards. He insists I train in that form though periodically… I can have you train with me the next time I do, if you want to see for yourself. I'm around my early twenties in that form… Which, unfortunately, means I have _at least_ another forty years until I'm _finally_ done growing."

Hearing the serious and highly personal answer, Yukio only nodded and leaned in to kiss Toshiro gently. “Well, I would love to see that, but I also love you just as you are now. And, as long as you’ll have me for that long, I’ll still be here in forty years to see you get there,” he promised. “Now, I’ll need that massage oil, and I’ll give you a nice massage before we do anything else, if that’s okay. We’ll also need a towel, because we’ll need it to clean ourselves up. I have a feeling we’ll both be too tired for another bath,” he added with a kiss to Toshiro’s cheek.

Trusting Yukio, Toshiro set him down on the edge of the bed before retrieving the requested items, holding out both a towel and the bottle of oil for Yukio. He stood calmly before him as he did so. He was excited to find out what Yukio had planned but he was long practiced in keeping his poise - most of the time. Yukio had a way of completely breaking that down to get ridiculously strong reactions from him when he was actively interacting with him. 

Yukio almost laughed at just how forcedly calm Toshiro was staying, but he didn’t comment as he took the towel, leaving it folded and placing it within reach at the head of the bed. He then took the massage oil, eyes quickly running over the ingredients and finding that, predictably, it was rather tame with no strong oils or perfumes added. “Alright, if you want your massage, get undressed and lie on your stomach on the bed. I’ll do your back first,” he instructed, trying not to get _too_ excited about how this was starting. 

Toshiro didn't hesitate, finding it rather easy to follow Yukio’s instructions. Just because he was a Captain didn't mean he didn't know how to follow orders. And honestly, he wanted whatever Yukio had planned for him. He loosened the tie to his yukata, allowing the fabric to fall open, sliding his arms from the robe and folding it neatly to place beside the bed. He then slid past Yukio to lay upon his stomach in the middle of the bed, amused and more than a little smug about the bright blush upon his face and his expression of pure desire. 

Yukio got to his knees next to Toshiro and paused for a moment, not really willing to give up the time he had to simply _look_ at him. Lean, toned muscle defined every part of his body, and Yukio had to hold back a whine when he remembered that he was about to _touch_ every part of that gorgeous man. He forced himself to take even breaths as he opened the bottle of oil and put some in his hand before closing it again, placing it to the side and distributing the oil across both of his hands. He started at Toshiro’s shoulders, gently kneading out the muscles there and humming gently when he felt him relax under his hands. 

It was a long, slow process, Yukio being thorough both for Toshiro’s and his own sake. Eventually, he reached Toshiro’s lower back, a bit hesitant to move further down than that. But, really, with what he was planning to do by the end of the night, he figured he may as well be sure Toshiro was accustomed to him touching him anywhere. So, though he focused the actual massage on the muscles on his hips rather than his actual ass - which was amazing, he observed - he did insist on touching every inch of Toshiro’s skin, even if just to pass over it gently.

Toshiro had never been so simultaneously relaxed and tense in his life. Every touch of Yukio’s hands upon his skin trailed fire that centered in his core, making him hard within a few minutes without any further stimulation. But at the same time, the massage itself was so well done, he melted beneath his fingers. He was issuing continuous, near silent groans. When Yukio’s fingers gently passed over his ass, he lifted his hips slightly, pushing back against him. The action slid his aching arousal against the bed and he found himself thrusting against the fabric of the sheet beneath him, a desperate moan of Yukio’s name falling from his lips as his fingers fisted into the pillow on either side of his head. 

Yukio’s eyes widened at Toshiro’s seemingly involuntary actions, but he didn’t pull his hands away, though he did move them back to Toshiro’s lower back, shifting them away from his ass. He thought _he_ was in a situation because he was already fully hard just from touching Toshiro, but Toshiro was already _desperate_. Yukio quickly rubbed the remaining oil into his own hands before lying down on his side next to Toshiro, gently touching his shoulder and urging him to turn onto his side and face him. “Hey, Toshiro, it’s alright. Take a minute and calm down,” he insisted quietly.

Toshiro turned at his touch, taking deep breaths, "Can't calm, Yukio," he said, his voice strained, his teal eyes half-lidded and desperate. He really didn't think there was any amount of time that could really bring him back under control after Yukio so expertly paid attention to every part of his back and ass. _No one_ had ever touched him that way and just remembering his touch was enough to make him moan out and reach out to him. "Need - Ngh -" he was frustrated that he didn't have the words, all he really had was hope that Yukio would take care of him somehow. 

Yukio had begun untying his yukata as soon as Toshiro said he couldn’t calm down, but he was sure Toshiro hadn’t noticed. By the time he was reaching out to him, he had discarded the clothing carelessly on the floor and was pressing into him, moaning loudly at the feel of their completely nude bodies melting into each other. He pressed every inch of himself that he could against Toshiro’s body, bringing his arms up to wrap around his shoulders and burying his hands in soft snow-white hair. “I know what you need. It’s okay. I’m going to help you, don’t worry,” he said quietly, immediately initiating a rather quick rhythm of thrusts against Toshiro’s achingly hard length. It caused heat to wash over him, telling him suddenly just how close he was as well. Just feeling Toshiro’s flawless body against his was almost too much. 

It took very little work from Yukio to have Toshiro clutching his smaller body, whining and panting as he moved against him, that same feeling of pressure and heat tightening within himself. "Yukio -" he cried out, "Fuck - Yukio - please I - I need to - let go -" Something within him desperately needed Yukio to say that it was alright that he did so, not understanding why that was important to him, only knowing that it _was._

Yukio was rather shocked by Toshiro’s language, having never heard the calm, collected man speak that way, but he was also surprised that he seemed to be _asking_ him permission to let his orgasm claim him. It didn’t really matter why he was doing it, though, Yukio certainly wasn’t going to refuse him. “Yes, let go, Toshiro. You can let go,” he tried to speak clearly through the waves of his own pleasure, which were rapidly building to a peak as well. 

"Yukio -" Toshiro groaned out, not even a heartbeat after Yukio had told him to let go, this time expecting the boneless feeling of relief that followed letting go of the tension within him. Yukio’s movement became slick against him and Toshiro shuddered at the sensation, loving the feeling of his lithe body against his own. He continued to clutch at him as Yukio’s thrusts became more desperate, breathing out, "You too, Yukio, want to see," as Toshiro focused intently on Yukio’s open expression. 

Yukio tumbled over the edge hearing Toshiro’s erotic desire to see him fall into his climax, and it crashed into him harshly, causing him to cry out in pleasure, his hands quickly moving from within Toshiro’s hair to grasp at his shoulders, not wanting to accidentally pull. The peak seemed to last long minutes, tensing his body as he arched into Toshiro, continually moaning and panting. When the sharp, blinding shockwaves finally subsided, he relaxed, his arms coming around Toshiro’s back and holding him close as he caught his breath. “That was - so good - Toshiro,” he panted.

Toshiro hummed his agreement, kissing along his jaw, his tongue sneaking out to taste his skin, moaning at the taste, "Love seeing you like that, you're so incredibly sexy, Yukio. So good, your body feels incredible against mine. I could do this all night. I can't get over how much I want you." The desire, now that he'd had a taste of it, quickly became something he wanted to continually chase after. He hadn't understood why people seemed so concerned about having sex, only finding that the desire for it seemed to make them neglect their duties and not concerning himself with the entire affair. No one wanted him that way anyway, so it wasn't difficult to ignore. His cold control over his emotions kept any real arousal from reaching him on his own so he hadn’t even touched himself this way, and he hadn’t seen the need to seek out information. 

He'd thought he'd just always be alone. 

But Yukio… Yukio had managed to kindle this fire within him that he had no idea how to put out - if he really even wanted to. He could feel it begin to stir again as he kissed him. Yukio had said something about needing to recover but Toshiro found he didn't seem to need much time at all himself. Still, if Yukio needed time, Toshiro didn't mind at all giving it to him, focusing on kissing along his neck as Yukio regained his breath, trying to memorize the way he tasted. 

Yukio was steadily breathing more evenly, surprised that Toshiro had only taken a moment and was already making advances again. Yukio had to remember that his own reiatsu had been drained fairly recently before this, so his stamina likely wasn’t up to normal, but it really did seem like Toshiro could keep going all night. Perhaps that wasn’t such a bad thing, but he did hope Toshiro let him sleep at some point that night. 

Yukio groaned a bit when he felt Toshiro’s cock already hardening against him, their bodies still mostly pressed together. He felt his own body responding, and he moved his hips a bit, still feeling the slick wetness between them that he truly had no motivation to clean up quite yet. After all, Toshiro was acting like this was all they were going to do, when Yukio had much more planned. They could clean up when they were actually done. To avoid as much mess on the bed as possible, Yukio pressed a bit more firmly into Toshiro’s body, pressing his shoulder back to coax him to lie on his back on the bed.

Toshiro allowed Yukio to push him, still very much relying on him to lead. He hummed in contentment as Yukio's weight settled on top of him at the move, his hands against Yukio’s back keeping him pressed against him even as he turned onto his own back. Yukio’s legs settled between his own and he found himself opening his own legs around his narrow hips to allow him to more comfortably settle against his body, groaning at the feeling of Yukio’s returning arousal moving against his own fully hard one as he did so. 

Yukio moved to prop himself up on his hands, trying not to put too much pressure on his hips as he did. He would honestly be surprised if Toshiro made it through this entire process without multiple climaxes in addition to the one he’d already experienced. “Toshiro… I’m going to do something far more intimate now, but first I’m going to clean us up a bit. I’m not going to be against you for a bit and I don’t want this to dry, alright?” he asked as he reached for the towel.

Toshiro nodded, finding himself immensely curious as Yukio sat up the rest of the way, reaching to touch the substance spread across his stomach. It felt slightly thicker than water and he collected some on his fingers, bringing it up to his face to inspect it better. The color was clear white and it had a very faint scent. He'd brought it so near his nose that his fingertips lightly touched his lips, transferring some of the substance, and his tongue darted out to clean them without thought. He widened his eyes a bit, realizing it barely had a taste but it wasn't unpleasant to him. He tentatively licked one of his fingers directly, trying to figure out what, if anything, that taste reminded him of, his curious mind running away with itself as he was confronted with something entirely new that he knew had come from his own body - and Yukio’s. At the thought of him, teal eyes flickered up to find beautiful emerald avidly staring at him. 

For a reason he didn’t understand, Yukio found it unbelievably sexy to see Toshiro so innocently investigating, and _tasting_ the release off of his own stomach. He quickly but thoroughly cleaned himself off with the towel before leaning over Toshiro again, keeping their bodies separated to keep himself clean. “What _are_ you doing?” he asked a bit teasingly when his face was only inches from Toshiro’s hand, which still had a bit of fluid on the fingers. 

Toshiro blinked up at him, murmuring out, "Investigating."

Yukio chuckled. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look so sexy doing something as mundane-sounding as investigating. I’ve actually never tasted it myself, so you’re already ahead of me. What’s it taste like anyway?” he inquired, this time genuinely curious himself. 

"I was trying to figure that out… It doesn't taste much like anything… Maybe it's salty? I don't know. It's not unpleasant though. You want to try?" Toshiro questioned, bringing his fingers to hover in front of Yukio's lips. 

Yukio didn’t answer verbally, he only took the offer and took Toshiro’s fingertips into his mouth, thoroughly licking them clean and actually finding that he didn’t want to stop. But, so as to not alarm Toshiro, he released his hand, saying, “I suppose it’s a bit salty, but you’re right. It doesn’t have much of a taste.”

"Yukio," Toshiro murmured, his eyes having fallen half-lidded again in lust as he felt Yukio’s tongue thoroughly clean off his fingers and saw how he clearly enjoyed doing so. "Your mouth and tongue, they feel so amazing - even on my fingers. And your expression… Like you didn't really want to stop… Why? Does it feel that good, having my fingers in your mouth? Is it that you really _like_ that taste? Or _both?"_ Toshiro asked, his voice husky. He didn't know why both possibilities turned him on, other than it simply seeming to be the case that there didn't seem to be anything Yukio did that _didn't_ cause heat to flow through his body and make him want him. 

“You know, I’m not really sure. I think it’s just… the thought of what it was on your fingers, because the taste wasn’t all that remarkable. And really, it did feel good to have your fingers in my mouth. But you’re really overthinking this, Toshiro. Honestly, you’re just sexy to me, and I think as long as it’s _you_ , even things that don’t seem sexy are to me. So just get used to it. Every single part of you is going to turn me on,” Yukio replied. He looked down between them, where Toshiro’s stomach and cock were still a mess. “And, if you like my mouth and tongue so much, I can put them to better use,” he added quietly, his tone dropping as he leaned in to hover barely an inch from Toshiro’s face. 

Toshiro groaned at the incredibly sexy tone. "I think you're right - only you have this effect on me, and it's practically _everything_ you do. _Because_ it's you. So I can accept that. And I love it every time you use your mouth and tongue, so please, please use them. Show me. Everything you do feels amazing, Yukio. I can't get enough of you."

Yukio smiled, kissing Toshiro gently before shifting down to look at the release covering Toshiro’s body. Knowing that the taste wasn’t anything to be worried about, he honestly just wanted to see what Toshiro would do. So, he bent over the flawless body and began licking the mess off of Toshiro’s abs, his tongue tracing every defined muscle as he thoroughly cleaned him, moving slowly downward as he did.

Toshiro gasped, understanding immediately what Yukio intended the second his tongue met the skin of his abs. He leaned up slightly, propping himself on his forearms to watch him as he cleaned the mess from his stomach. His breathing became more labored the lower he got, teal eyes transfixed on the ridiculously sexy image. Yukio really didn't seem to mind the taste, diligently and thoroughly cleaning him. Toshiro realized he was both frozen and shaking, desire flooding his body but not wanting to do anything that would cause Yukio to stop his gentle motions against his abs. His breath hitched as he reached a hip bone, whimpering a bit, his cock twitching at the unexpected amount of pleasure that area brought when stimulated. "Yukio -" he whined, feeling uncomfortably hard again, not really knowing what he was allowed to do and not wanting to disrupt him but it was becoming difficult again to ignore - having practically no experience having to ignore it - especially the lower Yukio got on his body. 

Yukio had actually anticipated this, knowing Toshiro had absolutely no experience with any of this, the pleasure that had to be filling him was likely overwhelming and unexpected. So, he lifted his head to meet desperate teal eyes. “If at any point you need to come - let go, same thing - just give me a second of warning before you do. I’m not going to stop you,” he said, his voice calm and level. Not that he wasn’t aroused himself, he was just much more concerned with Toshiro’s state than his own.

"I know you're affected too - I can feel it against my leg - how can you stand not… letting go? You're so calmly cleaning off my abs, as if you could wait for hours to address your own need. I'll - I'll try too, though I've honestly never had a more difficult time ignoring something. Does it really get easier to do so? It completely tunnels my mind, I don't know how you're not just as desperate to relieve all this… _pressure,"_ Toshiro panted out, teal eyes wandering over Yukio’s entire nude body and whining at how the sight of him just increased that pressure even _more._

Yukio distanced himself a bit, just enough to look up to Toshiro better. “There’s two things, I guess, that help me ignore it. For one, I’m much more concerned about you right now, so mentally I’m just not focusing on it. I’m too busy trying to learn you and your reactions and body to worry about myself. Two, I… did have some practice in my past life. This is my twenty-six-year-old body, so I suppose all of my experiences transferred even if I don’t remember all of it. It’s rather accepted and normal in the Living World to… relieve _yourself_ this way. I don’t know if people do that here. I didn’t do it terribly often, but when I did I would try to make it last as long as I could. So, I learned to hold back that way. It does get easier with time, and I’m sure as your body matures that will help, too. But don’t worry about it right now unless you want to. I don’t want you to suffer,” Yukio concluded.

Toshiro groaned a bit at his answer, "If a mature body helps deal with this, that's going to take a while. Yukio, I'll still have a _teenage_ body for the next _three decades…_

"And I don't really know if it's normal to… _relieve yourself…_ here either. No one has this kind of conversation around me, and I didn't care until… Until you walked into my office that day and I felt the overwhelming desire to kiss you. I thought it was just my desire to never lose you again, but it's only grown. I've had to keep such a tight lock on how my emotions influence my mind and body because of the strength of my power should I lose control, I've never had to deal with this at all. I love it though - I love _you,_ Yukio, and how you make me feel. I haven't felt anything positive in so long, and that's all I feel when you're with me. I'll let you know if I need to… come? If it gets too much. I don't seem to need that much time to recover though… You seemed to be pretty convinced I would - is that not normal?"

Yukio chuckled and shook his head. “I mean, I do sometimes forget your _body_ is a teenager, because I’m also attracted to your mind and your personality, which are both far more mature. So… for you, I guess it’s normal. All those raging hormones you’ve been able to ignore for so long coming to the surface all at once, I guess I can see why you’re so desperate and it seems like it never wants to stop. I don’t mind, though. Anything I tell you, I’m really just basing on myself, so we can figure _you_ out together. All of this is completely individual to each person,” he assured him. He was surprised that Toshiro actually seemed self-conscious about some of this, though he had to remember that it probably was quite a foreign feeling for the usually composed Captain to feel out of control of anything, especially his own body.

Toshiro nodded, settling back against the pillow, realizing that the short conversation and his slight anxiety that something may have been wrong with his own body's reactions had declined how pressing the need was to relieve the pressure within him. And, at this level, it actually did feel really good to hold onto that pressure. Also, Yukio didn't seem at all concerned about his reactions, so he was determined to not worry about it either. If the difference between them was a mixture of lack in experience and Toshiro being physically young, he could accept that. Though he was definitely reading about such things later on - he greatly disliked the feeling of being so ignorant. But he _did_ like the sound of Yukio figuring out _his_ body _together._

Yukio smiled when Toshiro relaxed again, but he was afraid that wouldn’t last long, because he hadn't even finished cleaning him off. It was actually quite the task, as the mess had spread quite far as they had remained pressed together when they moved. So, he continued, pausing and taking a deep breath to prepare himself for Toshiro’s reaction before he licked from the base to the tip of his cock. He had considered leaving it alone, but it was covered in release and he knew it would get uncomfortable as it dried, so it was completely necessary.

"Yukio!" Toshiro cried out at the direct touch to his cock, arching off the bed, his legs shaking as the pleasure he'd been managing to breathe through and simply accept crashed over him like a wave. "Need - Yukio - I can't - it's too much - need to come - please make me come -" 

Yukio acted immediately. He had never actually done this before, but he was determined to do it for Toshiro. He would do _anything_ for Toshiro. So, he took his twitching cock into his mouth, simultaneously swirling his tongue around it to finish cleaning it off, but knowing for sure that Toshiro wasn’t going to last long like this. He held Toshiro’s hips down as firmly as he could, hoping the action deterred him from thrusting into his mouth, because he didn’t have a horribly bothersome gag reflex, but now certainly wasn’t the time to test it. He was also well aware that Toshiro was much stronger physically than he was, though, so he could only hope his hands and the pressure he was applying was enough. He also hoped Toshiro understood what he wanted, because he didn’t take the time to explain that he actually did want him to come in his mouth. He figured, though, that Toshiro wasn’t going to have much of a choice.

Toshiro threw his head back with a gasp, closing his eyes tightly as Yukio’s hot, wet mouth surrounded him - and his _tongue._ He desperately felt the need to thrust into that sweet mouth but he felt Yukio’s strong pressure against his hips, clearly wanting him to remain still, and Toshiro moaned brokenly as he yielded. 

His breathing became short gasps as he looked back down at Yukio, bright, sexy, gorgeous emerald eyes staring up at him with his cock most of the way in his mouth. Between the sight and the sensation of Yukio’s tongue _everywhere_ around him, he reached down, his fingers grasping the fine blonde hair and tugging gently as he desperately said, remembering to warn him, "Yukio - going to - let go now -" But Yukio wasn't withdrawing, instead he sucked him _harder,_ and Toshiro's hand in his hair spasmed as he practically yelled Yukio’s name, coming far harder than before, curling forward with the force of it before collapsing back on the bed, shaking through the strong aftershocks. 

Yukio was surprised at his own instincts, fairly easily swallowing Toshiro’s release before decreasing the stimulation as his body calmed. He ran his tongue along the still half-hard length one last time before withdrawing, moving to rest his weight over Toshiro’s body again and kissing his cheek, smiling at the completely wrecked expression on his face. “I’ll never get tired of seeing you like this,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss him softly, bringing one hand up to run his fingers through his smooth white hair.

Toshiro hummed into the kiss, allowing Yukio to guide it completely, feeling pleasantly and completely relaxed. He could taste himself on his tongue but found that he actually liked it. The taste wasn’t offensive at all and the thought of _why_ he tasted that way brought a feeling of possessive fondness. He buried his fingers into Yukio’s hair, not directing him at all, just wanting to feel. 

Yukio lingered on Toshiro’s mouth until he honestly began to realize he was more painfully aroused than he had chosen to notice. But he knew he could push it down until he _finally_ sank into Toshiro’s ridiculously sexy body. So, he broke away, panting a bit as he looked into half-lidded teal eyes. “Alright, now that you’ve got some relief, I’m going to do what I set out to do when we started this,” he said with a chuckle.

Toshiro couldn't fathom anything feeling better than Yukio swallowing around him as he came - except perhaps watching Yukio as he did the reverse. He knew he was hard, he could feel him, and Toshiro was tempted to try, but Yukio seemed to have another plan and he trusted him completely. So he merely nodded, relaxing back against the bed again, allowing him to continue to lead. 

Yukio smiled, kissing Toshiro’s cheek before sitting up and reaching for the bottle of massage oil, letting a bit drip onto two of his fingers and rubbing them together with his thumb to spread it and warm it a little before nudging Toshiro’s knee with his elbow, separating his legs a bit more. He reached down to simply trace along the outside of Toshiro’s entrance, intently judging his reaction and comfort with the action.

Teal eyes widened, understanding now what Yukio had meant and that he'd been right - Toshiro had no idea what he'd given him full permission to do at the time. But it still didn't matter to him, because he trusted Yukio so completely. If this was something that would feel good, he wasn't about to judge, considering his own complete ignorance surrounding this. So he relaxed into the touch, finding it was intimately soothing, moving his hips slightly as he traced him, teal eyes becoming fondly heated as he waited to continue to feel everything Yukio introduced his body to. 

Yukio had a flash of anxiety when Toshiro initially tensed up, eyes wide as he began to fathom just how intimate this was going to become. But he breathed a sigh of relief as he relaxed again, surrendering himself to whatever was coming next. Yukio continued to gently trace his fingertips along the outside, gradually increasing the pressure to ease Toshiro into the idea of there being something there. When there wasn’t a negative reaction, he slipped the first digit of his index finger inside, the slick massage oil allowing it easily. He didn’t try to push further, though, watching Toshiro’s expression for any sign of pain or discomfort.

Toshiro decided instantly that Yukio actually pushing the finger inside him felt weird, but kind of like the taste of his own release earlier, it wasn't unpleasant to the point that he actually minded. And Yukio was carefully watching him so he clearly wasn't expecting this to feel good immediately. Toshiro's body clenched down around the foreign feeling of something entering him but he breathed deeply, consciously accepting the sensation and relaxing around it. Yukio wouldn't be doing this unless he expected it to feel good; Toshiro only had to trust him - and honestly that was only too easy for him to do.

“Good, Toshiro. I know this isn’t necessarily good yet, but it will be, I promise,” Yukio said softly. He moved the tip of his finger within him a bit, not only to get him used to the feeling, but also to begin slowly preparing his inexperienced body. It seemed to take far too long for Yukio to feel comfortable sinking his finger in further, but eventually he did, stretching as he went until, finally, he reached his knuckle. He had been watching, pleased that Toshiro had remained relaxed, but still concerned with every centimeter he progressed, not wanting to cause him any amount of stress.

As Yukio’s finger slowly sunk into his body, stretching as it went, Toshiro continued to force himself to relax into the odd feeling. When the finger was as deep as it could be, he found himself feeling intimately connected to Yukio on a level he hadn't before. Because Yukio was _inside_ of him. That thought brought some heat back to his core, his voice soft and fond as he groaned out, "Yukio… It feels nice, having you inside me." And it was _nice_ \- not as rapidly all-consuming as his mouth on him had been, and Toshiro realized that he preferred the slower build of this, like he had more control, more time to sort through the pleasure. 

Yukio smiled at the completely relaxed, blissful state Toshiro was in, obviously enjoying this but not desperate as he had been before. He was sure that would change eventually, but he wasn’t going to force it. Keeping his hand in place, he leaned up to kiss Toshiro’s cheek. “I’m glad. Just stay relaxed like this for me, okay? I’ll have to add another finger to really do this properly,” he said before sliding his middle finger in next to his index finger, taking it just as slowly as the first.

There was more pressure this time, but Toshiro was able to breathe through it like before, feeling decidedly more _full_ when both fingers were deep within him. There was calm, constant pleasure now, with how gentle Yukio was being with him, and he began to move his hips with his motions without realizing he had even started to do so. Teal eyes closed in blissful peace, loving how connected he felt to Yukio as he did this, how impossibly cherished and well-cared-for. "Yukio," he sighed out, feeling pleasure settle within him but mostly feeling _loved._ "Love you," he whispered, hips pushing against the fingers inside him, wanting to be as connected to him as possible, to give himself entirely to this man. 

‘Love you, Toshiro,” Yukio replied, kissing his cheek again before sitting up from where he had leaned over him. He felt Toshiro press against him, and he was sure he had stretched his body as much as he could with the two fingers he had inside him, so he slowly slid them out, reaching for the oil again and sitting up to quickly apply a good amount to his own cock, careful not to stimulate himself too much. He would have offered for Toshiro to do it for him, but he _knew_ he wouldn’t have survived having him touch him like that. 

Now feeling as prepared as he would ever be, he settled himself between Toshiro’s legs and centered his body over him, positioning his cock at his entrance, but not pressing in just yet. “Toshiro, if this causes you _any_ pain, promise me you’ll tell me. I don’t want to hurt you, but this might be a little uncomfortable at first until your body adjusts,” he said as he hovered over Toshiro’s body, their faces only inches apart as he propped himself on his elbows.

Toshiro's eyes had opened when he'd withdrawn his fingers from him, missing the feeling of them inside of him immediately, causing him to whimper from the loss. He'd watched with no small amount of hunger as Yukio oiled himself and now that he was hovering over him, he just wanted to feel him inside himself again. He knew Yukio’s cock was larger than two fingers, thus the reason he was concerned, but Toshiro _wanted_ him. And this time he actually knew _how_ he wanted him. "Please Yukio, I understand, but I'm ready. Your fingers didn't hurt at all and I - I _need_ to feel you, Yukio. I want you to fill me - feels empty now without you in me."

Yukio shuddered at the words and the deep desire in his tone. He claimed Toshiro’s mouth in a heated kiss as he breached his body, pressing only the tip inside and immediately groaning into Toshiro’s mouth at the hot tightness around him. He quickly realized he would need to breathe deeper than only his nose allowed, so he pulled away from their kiss, his inhales already shuddering a bit as he _very_ carefully shifted inside him, watching through half-lidded emerald eyes to gauge Toshiro’s reaction.

Toshiro whined at the loss of his mouth against his, having melted into the kiss immediately. It had worked as a distraction, narrowing his focus to the taste and feel of Yukio mapping out his mouth, only registering a bit more pressure than before as something larger entered his body. The distraction now gone, he felt him within him, his body far more stretched around him than before. But he was _barely_ inside and Toshiro moaned - Yukio wasn't nearly deep enough, and he still felt mostly empty. "More, Yukio, please," Toshiro breathed out, a clear whine to his voice as he moved his own hips a bit to encourage him to sink further into him. "Please, need you -" 

“Sorry - needed to breathe,” Yukio gasped out when Toshiro seemed to react negatively to him breaking off from their kiss. He stayed close, though, burying his face in Toshiro’s neck as he tried to control the impulse to thrust deeply into his body. And Toshiro’s begging certainly wasn’t helping. Yukio did suddenly realize that he was likely too strictly basing this on _human_ interactions. Toshiro’s body was much more resilient than any human’s, and based on his reactions to what had happened so far, he likely could take this at a slightly faster pace than he had been led to believe before. So he began a steady pattern of thrusts, still progressing slowly but keeping in mind that this seemed to be bringing Toshiro only pleasure, not a trace of pain evident at all. 

Toshiro felt his own body open and accept Yukio as he steadily sunk into him, stretching around him without an ounce of pain. He just felt progressively more full with each careful, steady thrust. Yukio seemed to be adamant about doing this slowly and Toshiro whimpered through the near constant moans falling from his lips as he resisted meeting his thrusts, knowing that would sink him deeper, far more quickly, but remaining compliant to Yukio’s chosen pace. He couldn't help his begging though, gasped words as he was slowly filled, "Yukio - you feel - amazing - more, please - want to feel you - so deep - fill me - Yukio - fuck, I - I love this - love you - so much - Yukio -" 

Yukio gave a broken groan at Toshiro’s words and the tension in his body, knowing he wanted to press back into him but glad he didn’t. Yukio was beginning to get quite desperate himself, every movement in the tight heat of Toshiro’s body driving his pleasure to unbearable heights. “So tight, Toshiro - feels so good,” he whined. He couldn’t help when his desire got the best of him, his hips moving a bit more sharply and finishing the distance that remained in only a few thrusts. He had to hold his breath to keep from coming immediately once he was fully sheathed. “Love how you feel around me - Toshiro - love you - all of you,” he groaned as he continued to deeply thrust into him, not really feeling that he would be able to stop until he reached his climax.

"Yukio!" Toshiro cried out, his back arching as he struck something within him that sent a current of pleasure through him so strong that his vision failed for a second. He had been thoroughly enjoying the feeling of being filled, of Yukio moving within him, but that sudden, overwhelming pleasure had him gasping and his hands coming to clutch Yukio’s hips tightly. Whatever that was, it had felt far better than anything he'd ever experienced, and if Yukio continued to thrust against whatever that was inside him, he wasn't going to last for more than a few more thrusts. 

Yukio moaned heavily when Toshiro’s body tightened around him at the immense pleasure he was feeling. Yukio had no idea what had happened, really, but he let out a frustrated growl when Toshiro tried to hold his hips still. “Need to - I’m so close, Toshiro - please - don’t make me stop,” he begged, still trying to keep the slick movement going despite Toshiro’s hands holding him back.

Toshiro whined at the desperate edge to Yukio’s voice and the assertiveness of it, his grip no longer restraining his motion but unable to fully release him, clutching him like a lifeline as he hit that place within him again with a deep thrust. The pleasure was so sharp it brought tears to his eyes, his entire body tensing and tightening as he gasped, "I'll come - if you do that again - Yukio - I'll come - it's too much -" 

Blinding pleasure rushed Yukio’s body when Toshiro’s tightened around him again, and he could only imagine what it would feel like if Toshiro actually climaxed while he was inside him like this. “Yes - come, Toshiro - please,” he gasped, burying himself as deeply inside as he could and holding the pressure, knowing the minute that heat began to tense and spasm, he was going over the edge with him.

Yukio’s final, deep thrust connected directly with that spot within him - _staying_ pressed against it - and Toshiro didn't even hear himself as his release was ripped from him by the blinding, sharp pleasure. His entire body convulsed, and his grip on Yukio’s hips had to be too tight but he couldn't let go, pulling him even deeper as his own hips pressed desperately into him, everything tensing as he arched into his small, hard body above him. 

Yukio was right - as soon as Toshiro’s body gave into his orgasm, the walls around his cock clamped down, sending his own release through him like fire that touched every inch of his skin. Sweat broke out on his back and under his hair, and he cried out Toshiro’s name as he pressed into him, the intensity of Toshiro’s climax feeding into his own, the sharp shockwaves drawing out his pleasure as both of them slowly began to come down from the high, Yukio collapsing on Toshiro’s chest and not caring one bit about the mess under him.

Toshiro loosened his grip upon Yukio's hips as soon as he was actually able to, hoping he hadn't inadvertently hurt him. He was breathing rapidly, Yukio’s weight on top of him bringing him comfort and grounding him as he tried to calm but each shift of Yukio’s still deeply buried cock within him was putting pressure against that place within him, causing him to whimper and shake. "Yukio," he gasped out, "I don't know what you're pressing against, but it's too much - need you to shift slightly - please -" He wanted to continue to feel him inside him but the pressure against that place within him was becoming unbearable, especially with nowhere for the pleasure to go, his body too exhausted to react properly to the stimulation. 

Yukio immediately moved his hips down a bit, hearing the actual discomfort in Toshiro’s voice. He still didn’t actually have the strength to move much, likely because he hadn't entirely recovered from being so thoroughly drained when they started. With Toshiro seeming to have calmed with his movement, he sighed, bringing his hand up to lightly trace nonsensical patterns on the skin of Toshiro’s chest near where he rested his head. “I’ve _never_ felt like this before, so happy and peaceful and _complete_ ,” he said quietly as he regained his breath.

"Complete…" Toshiro repeated, his body boneless and still pleasantly filled, loving the feeling of Yukio connected so deeply within him. "Yes, Yukio, that's the word. Finally complete." Toshiro's arms felt weighted as he wrapped them around Yukio’s slight yet strong back, nuzzling into the fine blonde hair, saying, "And you'll stay here with me, right, Yukio? I… I can't ever lose you, _especially_ now. It broke me before - if it were to happen again…" Toshiro's voice failed him at the mere thought of losing this - losing _him._ "Need you," he whispered, feeling entirely vulnerable but unable to hide anything from the man in his arms. 

Yukio looked up when he heard the emotion in Toshiro’s voice, and his heart skipped when he saw the genuine dependence and despair mixing in those usually calm teal eyes. He reached up to cup Toshiro’s cheek in his hand, meeting his gaze. “I will never leave you again, Toshiro, I promise. I will stay with you every day in the office, every night, every moment that I can… because I need you, too, and I _never_ want us to be apart,” he told him, confident and sure.

Toshiro smiled fondly, holding him with one arm, the other sliding up to thread through his long, fine bangs over his left eye, playing with the strands, his heart impossibly full. "Then we won't be. I'll name you my lieutenant, officially. Your shikai is mastered enough and you'll only improve, I know you will. We'll support one another as a team, making each other stronger, knowing we can always count on the other. And you'll live here with me, spend each night in this room, awake or asleep. I'll teach you to cook and we'll take care of each other. We'll learn each other's bodies as well as our minds, and we'll never be apart for longer than necessary. Because I don't want to miss a single moment with you. I'm tied to you now, Yukio. Every part of me belongs to you." Toshiro gently kissed his lips, his smile softer and more real than each one before it. "And every part of you belongs to me, my Yukio."

And as Toshiro reclaimed his lips, gentle, soft, and slow, he was certain of everything he'd said. They would do all those things and continue the rest of their lives together. 

And this time… He'd make certain that Yukio would remain safe. Remain happy. 

They’d both _continue_ to be _complete._

Because _this_ time… 

…they would both _stay._


End file.
